Sad

Hey,

I am really melancholic lately. Probably because school time ends in a few days. I was rather sad than relieved after I had written my last exam. Do not ask me why. I couldn’t stop some tears yesterday when my R.E. teacher said goodbye to.us and that we are nice human beings and she really overspending time with us. I do not want school to end. I still do not know what to do afterwards. On Monday I got accepted as an AuPair and I am officially searching for a host family now although I do not know whether I will go eventually. My mom does not like the idea and makes me uncertain. If one had asked me 3 months ago I would have been totally secure that I want to go to the US but now I am not so sure it is what I want. The problem is I do not know what I want. In addition to that I cannot abandon the idea of redoing this year. My math teacher just have me 3!!! points that is equal to an E. Son of a bitch! If he would have give me 4 instead of 1 point for my oral grade I would have gotten the 5 points I need. I mean, I do not disturb his lessons, always do my homework and work in class. 1 point is not fair! I hate him so much. Moreover, he said “Sorry, but I do not know how I can give you a better grade” Maybe my written A-Levels are crap and I have to redo this year anyway. I am very angry now. I would not go the math anymore if I haven’t do my oral A-Levels in math. 

However, have you seen the draft last night? It was my first draft. I wanted to watch it last year but I missed my clock and overslept all three nights. This year I went to bed early (11 pm) and got up again at 1:30 am. I prepared some food: bread, strawberries and yoghurt with raspberries. Luckily I had no school before 8:30 am so I was able to get some sleep after the draft ended at 6am. And tonight it continues!

Becca

Good morning in the morning

Hey, I hope you all had a great Easter. My Easter was okay, too. I mean I did not do much except for shopping online, eating (of course), reading and binge watching “Lost”. I am finish with Prison Break since last Friday. I have to say that the last two episodes were not necessary because beforehand they needed a whole season to break out and now only two episodes? Nah. But I love what Michael did for Sara, it was so cute. I have watched the latest two episodes as well. I am a bit disappointed that Sara is married but I suppose it is normal, I think it is healthy to move on. But I think (or rather hope) that Michael and Sara get back together. Jacob is probably a bad guy, sent to watch Sara and looking for a sign of Michael or something like that. He probably did not marry Sara because of love. Anyway, is their marriage legitimate? I mean if Michael is not dead and they did not divorced, Michael and Sara are still married!!! Unfortunately William Fichtner is not part of the new season. Perhaps he has a guest appearance. Well, what I originally intended to tell was that I have withdrawel symptoms of not watching Prison Break. Everything else is boring. I decided to watch “Lost” because I have read a lot of good things about it. I know so much actors/actresses! I like the story and it is really exciting but it is not as good as Prison Break. My favourite characters are Charlie, Sawyer and Sayid. I totally dislike Kate and Jack. I was really shocked that Charlie dies but then I remembered he is part of the main cast so he cannot die. I always think like this so I was really shocked when (SPOILER Bellick died) 

However school starts today and I am not ready. We probably get a lot of exams back. All bad, I suppose. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that there are only 4 weeks of school left. My school start could not get much worse because my English teacher demanded that I do a presentation of a twenty years old text about globalization (so up to date) and we had to write a poem for our poetry slam in German. 

I am in a really bad mood.

CU Becca XXX

Last day

Hey folks, what’s up?

Spring break is almost over but I am not sure if I should be happy or sad. It started great because on Monday last week I met an friend from primary school. I went to her house, where her boyfriend was, too, which I think was a bit disturbing but fortunately he left after a short time to go buying groceries. We have not seen us since December last year so it took us hours to catch up. Unfortunately her life as a mess as mine so we had a lot to talk about, especially our A-Levels. Her subjects are maths, art and German. We later went outside to enjoy the sun and continue talking. Her boyfriend came back but stayed inside. We talked about her grandfather dying a few weeks ago, her boyfriend (of course when he was away), school and that she fights a lot with her friends there, her mothers new husband (who is btw a jerk), her moving to her grandmother in summer break because she cannot bear her mother anymore, her plans after finishing school (she has no specific ones – maybe working), about the oral part of the A-Levelsand that we are not motivated to learn, that she is afraid that she totally messed up the A-Levels and we wallowed in memories. When her mum came home she made us come eating self made brownies. I got to know Naomi’s step dad Gordon, he asked how A-Levels went with me and I answered it was okay. He and Naomi’s mum started criticizing Naomi and me because A-Levels are totally easy and they passed it without effort. They then asked us questions like when did the first humans settle in the US (I knew that – 1619 in Jamestown), who / what is Othello (I have heard about it and know that it is written by Shakespeare but that’s it – it was not enough) why the most spoken language is English and not German ( I know this because my mum keeps telling me that but I have never heard of it in school) and other questions which were irrelevant for the A-Levels. Naomi and I could not answer much so they said we were dump and no wonder that we are not sure if we pass the A-Levels. I have never felt so dump! I can totally understand why Naomi wants to move, her mother was different when she was still single. 
The day after that my mum and I cleaned the terrace that means we have to clean the wooden floor by hand. We do it every year by scrubbing it with a dandy brush on our knees which takes a minimum of 3 hours. Well, we did it and afterwards everything hurt. I always feel like a sailor cleaning the floor of a ship. 
On Wednesday my mum and I went to the mall to buy a dress for the Abi Ball. 90 minutes and 20 dresses later I found one. I means it is not my dream dress but it looks good. Originally I did not want a blue dress because I am almost always wearing blue but the other colors looked really bad when I wore them so eventually I had to pick between two blue dresses, one was completely dark blue and high-necked. On the top were dark blue sequins, the other one was dark blue, too and had a silver belt and a heart-formed neckline, and a dark blue dress with a V-neckline and lace. I have not picked the one my mum preffered and the shop Assistent said I have picked the most teenage-locking one. I picked the dark blue one with the sequins.                         After buying it we split up and everyone had one hour on their own. I went to a multimedia shop, a grocery store, a decoration store and a book shop. In the end I bought two books and some fake flowers. When we met again we went on shopping for clothes. After 7 hours in the mall we returned home. To be honest, more often I see my dress the more I like it. 
The next days were boring, I was at home and enjoyed the time my sister was skiing with my uncle and his family. I read a lot and watched TV, I am almost through with Prison Break, I have to watch episode 1 of season 5 so I can watch the new episode tomorrow on Tv. I think they should not have make a new season, (!!! Spoiler alert !!! Because I liked that Michael died. Do not get me wrong, I really liked Michael and I have cried very much when I saw his gravestone and when he sacrificed himself for Sara and the Baby but I think it is awesome that there is no typical happy end! They are free but he is dead. It is typical for the show because often characters died one died not exscpected. ) I am curious how the new season is and I am going to watch the first episode in the evening. 

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Last weekend the weather was incredibly good so I sat outside the whole time and read. Silly me has not thought about sun protection so I had a bad sunburn afterwards. But it was okay. It was very hot. Unfortunately the weather worsened within the week and yesterday it rained a lot. Fortunately I was able and motivated to clean my car beforehand. It took me 3 hours to clean it up from the in- and outside. My mum and grandma watched me the whole time and gave unbelievable useful tips. During cleaning it my motivation said goodbye and I wanted to be finish asap but my perfection was in the way and so I cleaned it up very hearty. 
On Wednesday I went to the mall with Jaqueline. We have not seen us for a long time, too. I drove us (although I hate driving or at least I hate it when I am not alone) there. It went very well and there we rambled through the shops because we both did not have much many left. We went looking for dresses for Jaqueline for the AbiBall but she was not keen to try them on so we did not found one. We spend a lot of time in the book shop to discuss the books there which we have read and recommend them or not to each other. Eventually we left without buying one. After that we went to the decoration shop and I bought an angel figure for my mum(she loves them), a frame and a glass container. We went to Starbucks and while we drank our coffee we talked about, of course, our A-Levels, about redoing the school year (she is the only one who understands why I want to do it again), about her friends, the Parkplatzparty, Eastern, dresses, what to do after school and what to do after having no classes anymore in May. It was great to talk to her and I love meeting her. We should definitely meet more often. We went into some fashion shops but did not buy anything and after her buying some chocolate for her parents we left after 4 hours and drove home. 
Yesterday was boring, my mum went grocery shopping and I went with her. I remembered that I still have to write a poem for the poetry slam in German, make my presentation for English which I have to present on Tuesday and make my politics homework which I need on Tuesday as well. And this is excaxtly my plan for today in addition to reading and doing sports. The weather is good so I am probably going outside to do so. 

I hope you have a nice Friday! Becca XXX