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Hey guys,
I finally back. My adventure in the US continues. I had interesting last few months, where I put my finger in an immersion blender, had my first car accident, still have zero friends, have been to five different states, celebrated my first christmas and new years without my family, had an American thanksgiving, went to New York City to admire the christmas decorations, am going to an US-college, had a sleepover at a museum, watched the SuperBowl in the US (my host familiy’s favorite team won, my hostdad and my oldest host kid even flew to Minneapolis),  was skiing the first time after seven years, was snowtubing, made harbor cruise, baked a lot and am still not missing home.

So first of all, my finger is fine, it was on Patriot’s day and the boys had no school so in the afternoon we decided to make three different dishes, we, well more I finished the dessert, Banana split pie and we moved on to the next thing, carrot chickpea snacks. My oldest one does not like chickpeas so after succesfully mashing the chickpeas we decided to mash black beans. Black beans are much more solid than chickpeas so I decided to use the immersion blender to shred it. It worked out well, I was afraid the boys would get hurt so I told them to stay back and did it myself. After unplugging it i wanted to clean it, I even had to think about my mum and if it would be one of her stories I would cut off my finger now. Suddenly the immersion blender started and my finger was caught inside the blade. I was so shocked I just cried out once and told the boys to stay away. It started bleeding heavily right away and i tried to remove the blade from my finger. That was the moment I saw I did not unplugg the immersion blender but the mixer next to it. Damn!!! It hurted so bad and I clutched my finger and squeezed it as hard as i could to make it numb and stop the bleeding. I rushed to the bathroom to let cold water run over it. It was bleeding so much I bleed like a pig and left stains everywhere regardless of the mess I made when my finger was caught in the blender, I threw everything sitting on the counter down on the floor. To avoid the boys seeing me crying I send them away to have screentime while I panicked and started crying and wished my mum would be here because she knows what to do. So I paced through the house, crying, unable to watch how much of my finger I had cut off, hoping my host mum would come home. Unfortunately it was just after 3 and she would not be home for the next three hours. I was weighing the pros and cons of calling 911. I was worried about the boys, what would happen with them, what about my insurance etc, so I decided I had to look at it and see how bad it was but I just couldnt because I was so afraid to see how bad it really was because I knew my finger was still there but was it hanging at a string? After wandering through the house for 70 minutes I decided to look at it. I was a little bit dissapointed that the boys never looked for me but it was probably better. So when I lessened the pressure around my finger it started bleeding profusely again. I let water running over it now without my other hand protecting it so it washed up the fresh blood and i could finally see it, it was actually better than i imagined, I had cut it right where the finger nail started and even the finger nail was cut in half until the middle of the nail. I was just worried because it did not stop bleeding. I called my mum but she did not pick up so I called my sister, guys, I was desperate, I had to talk to someone! She was no big help because she was so engaged in her computer game. Well I just told her everything anyway and she told me mum was working. Because she did not listen anyways our call ended after 10 minutes and I started cleaning up the kitchen. I hoped I could clean up most of it before my host parents would come home, it was already a little after five. But I was not lucky this day, my host mum came approx. 5 minutes after I had started cleaning up, she said it looks like we were very busy and when she saw the blood I told her what has happended  but that I was fine. She asked if i would have to go to the hospital but I said no. So she continued working from home and I had to clean up the kitchen but I ended up talking to my mum because I had wrote her some messages which were stuff like ‘Do not worry, I did not die’ because I was frustrated when I haven’t been able to reach her. She was shocked and wanted to know everything in detail and i had to send her tons of pictures. She was worried but I tried to calm her down. When my host dad came home he was very worried and wanted to see it right away but we were about to have dinner so I did not want to ruin that and my host mum said I am old enough he does not need to check on me. Thanks! I was actually really relieved to show it to someone who was not thousands of miles away. After dinner i showed it to him and he said it is sketchy and I should decide if I wanna go to the ER he would drive me there. He has been there often because he had a lot of injuries already. But I refused his offer. My host mum gave me an antibiotic ointment which I applied and put an band aid on.
Now my finger is healed without seeing an doctor. My finger tip is numb and the part where the cut is is very sensitive, even the slightest touches hurt. My fingernail is split and started to protrude so I had to cut off these part and now I have a hole in my nail.

I am telling you more about the other events the next time.

What I wanted to write about was home. I got a 5 year journal at the beginning of the year, where you have to answer a question every day and they repeat every year for five years. It currently asked me what home is and I wrote that I refer to my living place in Germany as home as well as to my host parents house. At first I tried to not refer to the house in the US as home when I talked to my mum but that is ridicioulus, I was searching for a second family, although I doubt I found it. Today I realised I have no real home where I am feeling 100% comfortable. Alone the thought of returning to Germany scares me. Everything seems so small, boring and predetermined while I am free here. I can’t return, but should I extend? It is not as good as I imagined and most of the times it is awkward with my host parents. This question stressed me out so much, I knew already after a few weeks I would extend for nine more months but with the same family? The area is great, I kind of like the boys, they are so cute and well mannered and if I would leave them for another family I would definitly throw away even the slightest chance to see them as a second family and stay in contact. But maybe I would find a better family somewhere else! Ahhhhh! So I recently decided to wait what they would do, if they ask me to stay longer I would although I am not so sure, looking at my work, I wouldnt ask me… Well, to make it even harder, my mum suggested I should go to New Zealand as an Au Pair after my year here. I have no idea how she came up with this idea. She always tells me how much she misses me and she can’t wait until I come home and then she wants me to leave again? Why? She said I should think about it. I already did some research. I am not sure. I kind of like the idea but it feels like I will never accomplish something. I will start studying 3 years after graduation. My fellow students will be 3 years younger than me! I kind of like the thought to extend for 6 months AND go to New Zealand but my mum will hate this idea but I should make my own decisions! I mean it was her idea with New Zealand! But I do not want to break my mum’s heart! Oh man, what should I do? Moreover, I miss my cat Frau Schröder so much (she is actually the only living being I miss) and what would it do to her if I would leave her again? I would miss 2 years of her life!

Do not get me wrong, I love Germany. Staying in the US made me even realise how much! I just can’t bear the thought of returning home to my family in my small home town with no clue what to do in my future. I would not like to stay here permanently, Germany is too cool but I living somewhere else. When I don’t do it know I never will! And it is always just for a short amount of time and not for forever.

Btw, I am so proud of Germany leading the Olympic medal table. I even betted with my host dad that Germany would get more gold medals than the US, we did it already 2006 and 2010. Come on Germany!

das-deutsche-olympia-team-steht-im-aktuellen-medaillenspiegel-auf-dem-ersten-platz-

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New Years

Hey there,

you know that I get nostalgic on New Years Eve every year.

My day is not over yet, remember me being at the American East Coast.

My day is not better than the last years, I had to ski for 6 hours, my first time after the first time ever six years ago. I am very proud of myself, my instructor said I was very good and we even went down slopes he usually hits with his students after a few days skiing and I fell just once! He praised me the whole time how good I am. After a time I couldn’t take it serious anymore. After my fall I was not motivated anymore and scared to fall again. Fortunately I was almost done anyway. My host dad picked me up later and we walked back to the hotel. It was so cold! -18 C! I couldn’t feel my toes and fingers anymore. Tomorrow I have to ski with my host family, I hope i can them convince them to leave me behind like they do all the time anyway.

When we came back my host kids and mum went to the hot tub so I could shower. When they came back I had to supervise the boys shower. Then we went to friends of my host parents. Here we stay until next year. Because I felt like disturbing the adults I spent time with the kids watching Rise of the Guardians and The croods until it was dinner time: buffet with Asparagus, Rips, Salmon, mushrooms, potatoes, salad, cauliflower and a lot of snacks. After that I stayed with the adults because I thought it would be weird if I just spend time with the kids but in the end it was weird to be with the adults, they talked about boats and other stuff I have no knowledge about… Right now there singing karaoke and i fell like I am in the wrong place. Maybe I should not be here. Right now I wish i would be at home. They have January already. See you next year.

This year was fine, I enjoy my stay except for the monthly tragic incidents.

We will see where I am today in a year!

Birthdays

Hey,

I really do not like August. Okay, it’s summer and I like the warm and sunny weather where one can sit outside in the sun drinking a cold drink and reading a great book (In my opinion one cannot read every book at every weather, I believe the weather has to match the atmosphere of the book, weird I know. A popular example is Twilight, I prefer to read it while it’s bad weather.) Okay, I got distracted. What I wanted to tell you is that I really hate August because it’s my birthday month. I despise my birthday. It’s my birthday this week and I can’t wait for it to be over. There are barely any things I abhor more than having birthday. The thing is it is kinda New Years Eve (the ones of you who follow me for a longer time now know how much I dislike it). Everyone says nice things and treats you especially kindly just because it’s your birthday. You have to be lovely too because it is your birthday you are supposed to be happy and charming to your guests, you are not allowed to be mad. Moreover, you are the center of attention, you have to decide which food for dinner and what movie to watch although the other 364 (365) days no one cares about your opinion. The presents do not make it better. You are exspected to like them and even if I like them they do not compensate the stress. I prefer not having birthday and that’s probably the reason I haven’t thrown a party the past years. My plan for tomorrow is to go for a run in the morning and spend the rest of the day by reading in the sun  (it is said to be sunny and warm) preferably “Voyager” by Diana Gabaldon. It will be a very calm day and I exspect no surprises, I get 19, that is nothing special, it is just frustrating because I will get 20 next year and I have always considered 20 as old. *Sigh*

I am on the road now because I want to sign the contract for working as a hostess finally so I have to bake the cake for tomorrow in the evening. I know it is a bit depressing when the birthday girl has to bake her cake herself. This will be the second cake I baked this week, I guess I bake a lot when I am bored. It is going to be an Amarula cheesecake after I already made an Amarula chocolate chip cake (Now that the Amarula bottle is open I have to get it empty in a couple of days and lacking of friends to drink it with – drinking it alone is so sad and full of calories – I have to use it for baking.

Oh and for the German football fans: This Sunday there is a day almost totally dedicated to American Football on ProSiebenMaxx where they even show one preseason game (I would have almost missed it so I want to draw you attention to it!) 

New Year

Hey,

I hope you all came good into the new year and I really thank you for giving me your attention in the new year!♥
Maybe you remember that I told you that I want to see the ball drop in New York City but I did not wake up. This year I made it! Perhaps because I went to bed at 2:30am and not at 4am like last year. 

I went to my parents but I just sat there and read. My grandmother came over 15 minutes before midnight. This New Year’s Eve was weird. We just talked and almost missed midnight. We drank champagne and my dad said it. He really did but I told him he can save that and guess what, he was offended. He has not talked to me anymore. That was okay. My grandmother left almost immediatly after midnight and my mum went to bed as fast as she could (it was 1:15am). My cat went crazy. She was really scared. Originally she went upstairs into her bed but she came down when the fireworks started and hid under the christmas tree. I think she was glad that I came to calm her down because she emerged from the tree straight away and I gave her a cuddle until the fireworks ended which was approx. a quarter to 1. She shivered with fear and had really big eyes. If it had not been so scary for her it would have been really cute.
My grandfather phoned and wished us a good new year. We talked a bit and he said he wants me to come this year. I do not see him often, once in a few years but I do not know what to do or talk about with him. So I do not think I am going to visit him this year. Moreover, he is living at the other side of Germany. Well, after my mum went to bed I went upstairs too because my dad ignored me and I watched TV a bit. You probably still know that I like to watch other countries celebrate new year what I did this time as well. I have a few photos for you! 😉

Today was not very special. I learned for my A-Levels when I remembered that I have to do a presentation in computer science after winter break what I have to do, too. Great! I do not even get the topic! Whatever! I will drop it anyway.

At the moment I am watching New York Giants against Washington Redskins. Have you seen that the Vikings won? I know they did not make it into the playoffs but I was happy after all.

When I sat on the couch cuddling my cat I convinced myself that 2017 is going to be MY year. I do not why I am persuaded about it but I suddenly had the feeling yesterday. I hope that it will come true…

Hope you have a nice sunday.
Becca♥

P.S. Jaqueline did not come over, she wrote me already an hour before that she is really tired and almost falls asleep. I was tired as well so i could bear it.

Me, again

And hi there, a third time.
I just wanted to inform you my cat is back.
I am still bored although I just found out that the song “Nehmt Abschied Brüder”, which I learned at school, is the English song “Old lang syne”, which is a New Year’s Eve song. Why I write about it? Lea Michele sang the song at the end of New Year’s Eve and I was sure that I know the melody and even remembered the lines: “Die Zukunft liegt in Finsternis und macht das Herz uns schwer” and I googled it and bam there it was. Bam. Okay, I do not know what else I can write. By the way, we do not have firework this year. I hate New Year’s Eve, my sis is not there, my mum wants to go to bed after midnight asap and my dad says he only does it for us but I think he just do not want to be the only one who watches it… Yup. So again, Happy New Year, especially for Greece, Egypt and all other countries in this time zone.
We are next guys. I think I am going to my parents now and I am hungry, who wants to start in a new year hungry? Oh I hear now Hong Kong sang Old lang syne when they welcomed 2017.
CU next year!

Becca♥

Hello, it’s me…

Hi, it’s me, again. I know you are probably thinking: What does she want, she wasn’t able to write for a year and now twice a day?
Yeah, you are right. It is just very, very boring and I feel very lonely so I thought why not write again?
Currently I watch New Year’s Eve and I feel (like every year) lonely. My sister left for the party, my dad and I had a fight at dinner, like every year. We always fight on New Year’s Eve and then on midnight everyone pretends that everything is alright and how much one loves each other and especially my dad tells us every year we should stay how we are. That is so insincere. I hate it.
Moreover I am worried that my cat does not come back before midnight, she has done it before on her first New Year’s Eve because she was so scared. Usually we do not let her go outside but she does not want to use the cat toilet, she only does her business outside and we can’t stand her wandering around and crying terribly. I thought she has almost 3 hours left to come back and it is very cold so she comes back after an hour but she is still not here. I hope she comes back in time.
The movie is almost over and I do not have the slightest idea what to do afterwards. It is going to be very boring. I do not want to celebrate with my parents especially not with my dad. I know, I know that’s wrong but it is like this every year and he is never NEVER able to apologize. You are probably saying: Becca, the wiser head gives in. I know that you are right but it is always the same and I have had enough. Well, it is likely that I will give in a few minutes before midnight so I am just now very furious.
I AM SO BORED. Even if my dad and I would not have had that fight I would not like be with him right now because he and my mum are watching an odd music show about old songs (and with old I mean they are so old even my mum does not know a lot of them!)

I hope you have a nice day/night/evening and please ignore me I am just furious and very bored.
Guten Rutsch and happy new year!

Becca♥

One year

Wow, guys, can you believe that one year has passed since my last post? I get really melancholic on New Year’s Eve (I hate it actually) and feel very lonely. Sorry for not posting I feel very bad although I even gained followers that way (Hi there, by the way). I cannot believe how fast the year flew by. It was not so bad actually.

  • I made my driver’s license at my first try. Applause please! Thank you.
  • I got 18, which was very boring. I wanted to throw a party but I only knew three people I could invite so it was just a normal day.
  • I did not repeat the school year so this is my last year (hopefully) and I am going to do my A-Levels next year!
  • I survived not only our class trip to Weimar but also to Greece (and it was not that bad). Maybe I post something about it later in a throwback post.
  • Well, I think I got more integrated at school, I mean I got invited to some parties and my seatmate and I get along very well. We have the same humor and we love to gossip about our teacher. I really like her although a lot of people do not.
  • I made a practical training at a kindergarten for my year abroad next year, which was really funny and changed my sight about working with kids. In the first place I never wanted to work with kids because of my horrible practical training in a kindergarten almost 3 years ago but the one in the fall break was really awesome and the kids were so nice I was really sad that it was over.
  • Nobody from my family died or was serious sick. (Thank God!)
  • My former best friend and I started meeting again.
  • I was at the best birthday party ever ( a few days ago). Ok, I know, I haven’t been to a lot of parties but this one was great. I met two of my friends from my old school, got to know their (really nice) friends, got drunk (2 beers, 1 Jägermeister, 1 wodka, 4 Kleine Feiglinge – it is schnaps, 1 Malibu and pineapple juice – drunk it the first time, it is soooooooo delicious!) but had no hangover and I did not something embarissing or threw up.

Ok, it was not very good either, it was ok.

  • My grades got worse. (Great!)
  • My family is a mess, the only thing we do is fighting!
  • I do not know if I can really do my year abroad because I do not have enough childcare experience because the kindergarten where I made the internship almost 3 years ago does not authenticate it.
  • My cat is almost the whole time sick and has to go to the doctor! (It is nothing serious, sometimes she does not eat anything anymore)
  • My new English teacher is crappy. She says my English is horrible. Ok she could be right but I always thought I am not that bad (she gave me 4 Points which means an E). Furthermore she does not teach us anything so we have to teach it ourselves for our A-Levels.
  • The relationship between my cousin and me worsened (unfortunately!) because I haven’t got much time to meet her lately.
  • The Minnesota Vikings are not in the playoffs. (Damn it!)

Nonetheless, I hope YOU had a great 2016 and that your 201 will be even more awesome.

What are your new year’s resolutions? I know mine was to publish more last year (and look how it went) and it is the same this time. Moreover I want to be better at school again and I want (the first time in my life) to put my hand up in school.  Isn’t it incredible how far I have come without raising my hand and just writing good exams, doing my homework and doing good presentations and group works? My grades were never awesome but ok. I never had to repeat a year.

My new year’s eve so far was ok. I got up very early so I was able to get the buns from the backery. After that I made noodle salad because my mum had to work and it has to rest before you can eat it. My dad and my sis are incapable of doing it so I was the only one left to do it otherwise we hadn’t got something for dinner today. After that I learnt for my A-Levels but not very long because I was not very motivated. Then I drove (by myself because I CAN!) to the supermarket to buy the last things for today. After that I just sat down reading and watching other countries (like Australia, who had already 2017 when it was 2pm here) celebrate the new year like I did last year although I was very dissapointed because there were not much celebrations who aired on TV here. Now I just sit here, write my blog entry and answer the WhatsApps from my friend Jaqueline. We both stay at home this year.
Originally I wanted to celebrate with a classmate but she decided to go to a party from another classmate of us to which I was not invited so I decided not to go because if she wanted me to come to her party she would have invited me. Jaqueline said that she perhaps comes over at midnight because she lives only a few minutes away. Let’s see but it would be awesome. I already chill the champagne!

Oh my mum calls, dinner is ready: sausage and noodle salad! (I do not like it very much)
I hope you have big fun celebrating and I wish you a happy new year.

P.S. The people in our neighborhood display their fireworks since midday today and I gets more and more. Why didn’t they wait until midnight?!

All the best, Becca ♥