New Years

Hey there,

you know that I get nostalgic on New Years Eve every year.

My day is not over yet, remember me being at the American East Coast.

My day is not better than the last years, I had to ski for 6 hours, my first time after the first time ever six years ago. I am very proud of myself, my instructor said I was very good and we even went down slopes he usually hits with his students after a few days skiing and I fell just once! He praised me the whole time how good I am. After a time I couldn’t take it serious anymore. After my fall I was not motivated anymore and scared to fall again. Fortunately I was almost done anyway. My host dad picked me up later and we walked back to the hotel. It was so cold! -18 C! I couldn’t feel my toes and fingers anymore. Tomorrow I have to ski with my host family, I hope i can them convince them to leave me behind like they do all the time anyway.

When we came back my host kids and mum went to the hot tub so I could shower. When they came back I had to supervise the boys shower. Then we went to friends of my host parents. Here we stay until next year. Because I felt like disturbing the adults I spent time with the kids watching Rise of the Guardians and The croods until it was dinner time: buffet with Asparagus, Rips, Salmon, mushrooms, potatoes, salad, cauliflower and a lot of snacks. After that I stayed with the adults because I thought it would be weird if I just spend time with the kids but in the end it was weird to be with the adults, they talked about boats and other stuff I have no knowledge about… Right now there singing karaoke and i fell like I am in the wrong place. Maybe I should not be here. Right now I wish i would be at home. They have January already. See you next year.

This year was fine, I enjoy my stay except for the monthly tragic incidents.

We will see where I am today in a year!

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My birthday

Hey guys,

my birthday was better than expected. A friend of mine came by surprisingly (she drove 10 km by bike just to visit me (one way)) That’s so cute! She even brought me a present: a book. It is a thriller about a family whose nanny isn’t what they expected… I’ll tell you how it is then. 

Like I planned I got up at 9am and found an envelope which my sis stuffed through under my door. It was a coupon and a handwritten letter. My mum just hugged me and wished me all the best. We had breakfast then. After it I wanted to go running but first my grandma came and have me her gift: a card with money: American money. My first US Dollars! and second my grandpa phoned congratulated me and asked if I have got his letter. In fact, it has already arrived and contained the only Euros I would get this birthday.  When she left because my mum had to drive her to the doctor I went running. In the meantime a few people wrote me birthday wishes, two acquaintances and my uncle. After my mum came back with my grandma and I had showered she gave me my birthday present: a bouquet of flowers (which she has bought when she waited for my grandma) and a card with money, again American. She said she couldn’t wait until my dad comes back. 

My mum and I cleaned up the house until my sister came back from school because my sister’s math teacher was supposed to come later to teach her some extra math lessons. My sister did not mention my birthday or acknowledged my thank-you. 

At 3pm the doorbell rang. I did not expected visitors and the math teacher would not come before 5pm so I was very surprised when my friend (I call her like that now that she came by only for me and although I did not visit her on her birthday (what makes me a guilty conscience). Fortunately I have baked a cake the day before and after I have showed her my bedroom we ate cake (she ate even 3 which made me very happy because this shows me she liked it). Bit by bit my mum and grandma joined us and we all talked. When my father came home he joined us too and was disappointed that my mum has given me their gift already. I was even able to convince my friend to drink a glass of Amarula although she doesn’t like alcohol. Later it started raining heavily and we had to go inside. Then it was time for my friend to leave to but because of the rain my father was so kind to drive her and her bike. Because of the later I wasn’t able to accompany them unfortunately. 

Dinner was one of my favorite foods: salmon and spinach. Yummy! Just minutes before it was ready my uncle, aunt and cousin came by to give me my present: US dollars! 

The test of the day I watched TV with my parents but had to go to bed early because the next day I had to get up eearly because I had to work. But that’s a different story.

XOXO Becca

Summer

Okay first of all, I have write this post again because it just got deleted. Damn it.

I think I will die of boredom soon. Everyone has something to do except for me. My little cousin is in Croatia, my oldest cousin went to the North Sea with a couple of friends, even my sister will travel to Denmark with the Girl Scouts and my parents will spend a week in Vienna. The only one who stays at home for two weeks is me. I think my mum would pay a short trip somewhere but I do not want to be dependent on my parents and their money. Moreover they do not have much money either otherwise they would go to the Carribbean for holiday. My mum puts aside a lot of money so she has money she can spend on things for my sister and me. I do not want that my mum almost buys nothing for her so she has enough money for us. It is just not right. My sister has a different opinion she wants and wants and wants new things.

I think I hit the bottom now. I just had to file unemployment not because of the money but so my parents get child support and I stay social secured. I searched for a job for weeks now, effortlessly. They all think I will quit in October because they assume I will start studying then – wrong. I still do not know WHAT to study and there are only a few days left (until July 15) to apply for a place at the university but I still do not know what I want (and you all know how bad I am at making decisions). Eventually I will have no job nor a place at the university. I am such a loser. I do not know how to spend my days. Since I have no school anymore (which is since May 12) my days are all the same, I get up very early because I hate to sleep in late (I always feel like I miss half the day), prepare breakfast, go running, then I surf in the Internet (lately looking for jobs), talk to my mum, sleep, prepare and eat dinner, watch TV although it does not interest me, sleep, all in all, I wait that anther day passes. I hate running but it is my only task and I cannot quit it! I always get the best ideas and thoughts during I run. Actually, I just came back from it although it is more than 35 degrees outside but I have to fill the 24 hours of the day somehow!

Two weeks ago was my graduation. I hated it. It was very hot and I was not very eager to see all the people who are so good at ignoring me. Our teachers held a lot of speeches with the messages: “What you achieved is fantastic, you can be so proud!” “The world is now open and you can do what you want!” “Nothing can stop you” “Your life just begins” “School was easy, everything gets harder now” and so on and on. I was not very encouraging. This are just phrases everyone says but one cannot take serious. Only the very good and very engaged students got honored so for the Reston us it was very boring. Surprisingly I had not the worst overall A-Level result although I never raised my hand which contributes 50% to the grade. I was not lazy, I was afraid that the other would laugh. I ruined my A-Levels by this. My mum (who was the only one who accompanied me) and I were glad when it was over.

A week later the horror started anew: the big ball (organized by the students to celebrate themselves and praise their teachers). This time my mum and dad came. The students sat on a gallery and the teachers and parents sat below us so they could not see us. I was worried about where to sit but like the week before I got invited to sit next to two classmates of mine, okay they ignored me the whole time but at least I had not had to worry about a place to sit. The celebration took 5 freaking hours, five!!! Can you believe it? It was extraordinary boring and I played with my cell phone. We were nine different classes and everyone had to produce a video to introduce their class. My crappy class decided to sing a song of praise for our tutor. I hated the idea, I mean I am scared to talk with them and especially in front of a lot of people and then more than 500 people should see me singing?! Because everyone had to sing a verse alone? I hate my class, I hate them so much! I did it of course but it was so embarrassing. Our video was by far the worst. After every video two of each class held a speech which summed up the last two years and praised their teacher. It was terrible not only because they lied like troopers but because they hardly tried to be funny but failed. During the videos there were performances by the year below us like dances and songs. Even two girls of my year sang a song but everyone (okay, not th teachers and parents) laughed about the because it sounded awful, Who recommended them to sing there? Of course had someone the glorious idea to make a father-daughter and mother-son dance. Fortunately I was able to convince my father that we do not participate. Somehow I think it is very embarrassing. There were even two breaks a 30 minutes which could have been omitted because the event took 5 and a half hours. Jesus! The only funny thing were the waiter. Two boys dropped literally everything and if one heard glass shattering on the staircase again one could easily guess whose fault it was! They even ruined some dresses and suits! Food was almost non-existent. Everyone got one tiny, tiny glass with either potato salad or meat. We were all starving!

Two days later was the After-show party to which I did not go. I have enough experiences of school parties to know that I would stand alone in a corner and wish that the party is soon over. Surprisingly one of my classmates, who refused to go as well, asked if we want to go to a restaurant instead and spend the evening together. Because I longed for distraction I said yes. We went to a restaurant which looked like a retirement home and the people who came there matched the impression. We decreases the average age from 90 to 80. But the food was delicious. I drove her home afterwards. It was her and her friend with whom I met to eat breakfast together a week before. We stayed in the cafe four hours and just talked (it did not feel like 4 hours the time just flew by). Afterwards we went to the city center to eat ice cream (well, I just watched them eating ice cream). I drove them both home there, too. I do not know why everything has to be about food not only then but at home as well. My mum knows barely another topic than food, what should she make for dinner, we should go to a restaurant again, could I bake a cake, could I buy buns for breakfast, she is so hungry what could she eat, do I want an ice cream? Ugh.

Now to the topic I think about the most: AuPair.
During my graduation my tutor (who has filled out my character reference) asked me if I could write her a post card when I am in the US. I had to tell her then that no host family wants me as an AuPair and she was shocked because she thought the Organisation just matches AuPair and host family. An classmate overheard the conversation and asked me if I want the telephone number of an acquaintance of her who knows a host family who is still searching an AuPair. I was happy for a new opportunity and said yes. I wrote her the same day. She told me about the host family from Philly with two girls. It sounded good until I heard that I had to change the Organisation to match with the family. The family was registered at Cultural Care AuPair (the Organisation I did not wanted to choose because it was the most expansive and the one with the worst critics) and I am registered at AIFS. Actually, I thought about changing the Organisation for a short time but I would have to fill out every form anew and request a new medical form and criminal record what would cost money again and in the end the family and I do not like each other and everything was for nothing. So I declined her offer. I gave up the idea of a year abroad.
Four days later a new host family emailed me that they are interested. I was very happy. Again four days later I skyped with the host mum, she is awesome. She is really sympathic and the family is everything I have always wished for. Okay there are three boys (I would prefer two but I will make it) and I can start not until Mid-October (I wanted to start by no later than the beginning of September so I could start studying the next year after I came back, but I have to admit I changed my availability time so my chances were higher to get a host family). Our skype interview was the longest, funniest and best I ever had, I tried to speak a lot. She said she really enjoyed talking to me and we skype again tomorrow, then with her husband too. Two days ago I skyped with their current AuPair (I was the only applicant who were able to do so, which is a good sign I think). I really hope it will work eventually!

So now to you dear Amy. It is thanks to you that I write this blog post. I doubt I am a good distraction because my life is really messed up (more than I let someone know) and boring but I m very honored that you like my blog because I just became a big fan of yours! (Guys, check it out, it is awesome!!!! –> My winged words ). We are more alike than one thinks. I am sorry that I cannot give you any tips about blogging because I do not have any rules. I just write about my day and what touches me, my thoughts and ideas, just like a diary. I hope that other people who are like me find comfort in it and does not feel alone. I wish you all the best and I wish I could tell you something which would help you but I am the last one who should give you any advises about overcoming an eating disorder. I really admire your bravery and honesty and cannot wait for a new post from you.

XOXO Becca

Today, is gonna be the day…

Where the Pats will win their fifth Super Bowl!🎉😍🏈🏆 #Sorrynotsorry The Pats are my second favorite team after the Vikings. I am looking forward to the Super Bowl since a few weeks. Because of this I dedicated the whole day to it. You probably know that the Super Bowl starts at 22:55 pm German time which means I have to stay up very late although I have school tomorrow. Because of this I tried to sleep as long as possible today. Last year I fell asleep before the first half was over. 😩 To prevent that happening this year as well I want to take a nap in the afternoon, too. The second reason for it is that I do not want to be that tired in school tomorrow. So, I got up at 11:30am and ate a little breakfast, baked a cake as fast as I could. After this I went showering and now I am supposed to learn for my A-Level English exam but I cannot stop watching Football videos or read articles about the Super Bowl. I am curious about the Half time show by Lady Gaga. Unfortunately I missed the one by Coldplay, one of my favorite bands, last year! I am going to watch the PreSuperBowl show airing on ProSiebenMaxx at 20:15pm. Last year I tried to watch it in the live stream but our internet was too slow for it (yeah I had not had the programme at TV) but this year I have the programme and can watch it on TV. I cannot wait! I already have all the snacks and drinks I need for later. 

I think the Pats will win by a large margin. What do you think? 

P.S. My aunt asked how my AuPair application is going. I confessed that I have it up because I have not enough hours but she said that is a chance of a lifetime and I should do it. Deep inside I would love to do it but I am scared. It is such a long time! Although I dreamed the whole time that I will watch a NFL game live next year. I still do not know what to do. 

One year

Wow, guys, can you believe that one year has passed since my last post? I get really melancholic on New Year’s Eve (I hate it actually) and feel very lonely. Sorry for not posting I feel very bad although I even gained followers that way (Hi there, by the way). I cannot believe how fast the year flew by. It was not so bad actually.

  • I made my driver’s license at my first try. Applause please! Thank you.
  • I got 18, which was very boring. I wanted to throw a party but I only knew three people I could invite so it was just a normal day.
  • I did not repeat the school year so this is my last year (hopefully) and I am going to do my A-Levels next year!
  • I survived not only our class trip to Weimar but also to Greece (and it was not that bad). Maybe I post something about it later in a throwback post.
  • Well, I think I got more integrated at school, I mean I got invited to some parties and my seatmate and I get along very well. We have the same humor and we love to gossip about our teacher. I really like her although a lot of people do not.
  • I made a practical training at a kindergarten for my year abroad next year, which was really funny and changed my sight about working with kids. In the first place I never wanted to work with kids because of my horrible practical training in a kindergarten almost 3 years ago but the one in the fall break was really awesome and the kids were so nice I was really sad that it was over.
  • Nobody from my family died or was serious sick. (Thank God!)
  • My former best friend and I started meeting again.
  • I was at the best birthday party ever ( a few days ago). Ok, I know, I haven’t been to a lot of parties but this one was great. I met two of my friends from my old school, got to know their (really nice) friends, got drunk (2 beers, 1 Jägermeister, 1 wodka, 4 Kleine Feiglinge – it is schnaps, 1 Malibu and pineapple juice – drunk it the first time, it is soooooooo delicious!) but had no hangover and I did not something embarissing or threw up.

Ok, it was not very good either, it was ok.

  • My grades got worse. (Great!)
  • My family is a mess, the only thing we do is fighting!
  • I do not know if I can really do my year abroad because I do not have enough childcare experience because the kindergarten where I made the internship almost 3 years ago does not authenticate it.
  • My cat is almost the whole time sick and has to go to the doctor! (It is nothing serious, sometimes she does not eat anything anymore)
  • My new English teacher is crappy. She says my English is horrible. Ok she could be right but I always thought I am not that bad (she gave me 4 Points which means an E). Furthermore she does not teach us anything so we have to teach it ourselves for our A-Levels.
  • The relationship between my cousin and me worsened (unfortunately!) because I haven’t got much time to meet her lately.
  • The Minnesota Vikings are not in the playoffs. (Damn it!)

Nonetheless, I hope YOU had a great 2016 and that your 201 will be even more awesome.

What are your new year’s resolutions? I know mine was to publish more last year (and look how it went) and it is the same this time. Moreover I want to be better at school again and I want (the first time in my life) to put my hand up in school.  Isn’t it incredible how far I have come without raising my hand and just writing good exams, doing my homework and doing good presentations and group works? My grades were never awesome but ok. I never had to repeat a year.

My new year’s eve so far was ok. I got up very early so I was able to get the buns from the backery. After that I made noodle salad because my mum had to work and it has to rest before you can eat it. My dad and my sis are incapable of doing it so I was the only one left to do it otherwise we hadn’t got something for dinner today. After that I learnt for my A-Levels but not very long because I was not very motivated. Then I drove (by myself because I CAN!) to the supermarket to buy the last things for today. After that I just sat down reading and watching other countries (like Australia, who had already 2017 when it was 2pm here) celebrate the new year like I did last year although I was very dissapointed because there were not much celebrations who aired on TV here. Now I just sit here, write my blog entry and answer the WhatsApps from my friend Jaqueline. We both stay at home this year.
Originally I wanted to celebrate with a classmate but she decided to go to a party from another classmate of us to which I was not invited so I decided not to go because if she wanted me to come to her party she would have invited me. Jaqueline said that she perhaps comes over at midnight because she lives only a few minutes away. Let’s see but it would be awesome. I already chill the champagne!

Oh my mum calls, dinner is ready: sausage and noodle salad! (I do not like it very much)
I hope you have big fun celebrating and I wish you a happy new year.

P.S. The people in our neighborhood display their fireworks since midday today and I gets more and more. Why didn’t they wait until midnight?!

All the best, Becca ♥

I did not forget you!

Good afternoon! I hope you’ve not thought that I forgot you! I was just very, very, VERY busy. We are writing so much exams now and I have do to a lot of presentations AND we have barely Internet. This is the reason why the street gets digged up. And I am in a crisis. Last week was a Native American , not an Indian, just somebody who was born there, in our school to introduce the American way of life to us in a free presentation. This was sponsored by an organisation which places Au pair in American families. Maybe you remember that I always wanted to visit the US! My post about the trip of my cousin to the USA.
I have already read some of the experience reports by other au pairs. I do not know what to do. Luckily I have some time left to decide if I should do it… Well Pro are that I can spend one year in the USA for just a bit money and I even earn some money and have one month to travel around the USA! I really enjoyed my time alone in England and hope this would like it. Besides that I would have one more year to think about my future and I would improve my English! Moreover I would meet new people from all around the world although this is one con point because it is very difficult for me to find new friends. Aside from that I have to leave my family and my grandmother, about who I am afraid, I do not want her to die while I am away. Furthermore I am afraid I do not understand them and they do not understand me! The biggest point is that I do not want to leave my cat because I am afraid that the forgets me and does not like me anymore when I am back… But my mum really likes the idea. But I am uncertain about what I should do…

 

P.S. Just found an interesting blog about beeing Au Pair in the USA while I was searching for an image;)

Today

How school is for me after summer break…

Hello, hello, hello!

Today was good. I had just 6 hours and one of it was a free period. While I had my free period I bought a present for my sis and a toy mouse with a laser for my cat. Frau Schröder does not understand how it works, she wants to cuddle with the mouse and not catch the laser point. 😀 Although this year – okay it was just 4 days now – I do not know what to feel. I like the school, the teachers are good (except Sport) but I do not know what to feel about my fellow students, the ones I was in one class last year do not talk to me anymore and all the new (new for me) students some just ignore me and some talk to me but I do not know what they think about me. Last year was really alone, I had no friends. There were a few girls I got along well with but one do not talk to me anymore and the other one talks to me but is not interested in my answers anymore. So let’s see how it will develop. There are – luckily – just 2 years left… I have to stop now I am watching a really exciting episode of Criminal Minds called Lockdown (10×16).
CU Becca