Nothing new

Hey guys,

It is a wonder that I haven’t died of boredom yet. I am sooooooo bored. I do not know what to do. I cannot search for a job because I do not know when (and if) I have to leave for the US. Oh, by the way, I have a new suggestion from a Swiss family from Boston with whom I have skyped yesterday. It was awkward and I doubt that they will pick me as their new AuPair. I do not believe that my AuPair year will happen so I am searching for an idea what subject I could study but it either sounds boring or has no future potential. That is so frustrating!

Moreover, I am really down, nothing makes fun anymore (not even reading) and I wish I could sleep the whole day. I thought being finish with school feels better. I wish I could be back at school! (I have never imagined saying this, oh god, it is worse than I thought).

I hope you feel better and have more fun.

Becca

Overwhelmed 

Guys, 

Only 100 days until the football season begins!!!😍

So now to what I actually wanted to say: I just cannot do anything anymore, not physically but mentally. Tomorrow is the first of my two oral exams for my A-Levels, tomorrow’s is math. It does not feel like a part of my A-Levels. Maybe because I haven’t had school since 18 days or because there is no one I can talk about it with. I just do not take it seriously not even one day before. It might be as well because regardless of how many points I get (I only need one to pass my A-Levels) my average is shitty. So I can be very relaxed because the teachers tend to give at least one point although I am certain my math teacher hates me. He will probably take a topic for tomorrow’s exam in which I am very bad. Anyway, it’s math, I will be satisfied if I get at least five points everything above would be a dream. The problem is I just cannot remember everything of the last two years! Especially not in math! 

Furthermore, my cat is very ill. She has barely moved and eaten since Sunday and only drank a bit this morning. I was not sure but when I touched she felt like she has temperature . So I went with her to the vet – only one day before my important exam. And I was right, she has 40C temperature! So she got a vitamin cure, antibiotics and an infusion. We got protein and Vitamine food and a painkiller for at home. All in all it costed 100€. Wow, I am totally broke now, although I babysitted twice this weekend. 

In addition to that, the fact that no host family was interested in me for more than one week and that there were only 5 ones overall in more than 4 weeks burns me out. My friend who is visible for host families for two weeks now has as much family suggestions as I. That’s frustrating. I get already used to the idea to stay in Germany. Now that I am finally aware of what I want it does not work out. At least I do not have to blame myself for taking so long until I was finally activated I did everything as fast as I could, even if I had wanted it since day 1 I would not have been visible for the host families any longer. I think most host families already found an AuPair and I am too late. I am still sad about not getting chosen by the host family from Texas. Now I do not know what to do if I cannot do my year abroad! There is only one month left until my preffered departure date. Weird. 
Well, first I have to pass my A-Levels now and then I can worry about my year abroad. Maybe a new family suggestion would distract me tomorrow anyway.

Waiting

The waiting for new email kills me. I want to do this, I want to be an AuPair. My life is so boring I want to experience something, to go on an adventure! One year can be very long, my A-Levels were bad, maybe I should do the year again and I am a bit afraid to come back when my time in the US was awesome! But I have to leave, I cannot stand my family anymore. I know, at first I was afraid to get an Email and I think this ruined my possible match with the host family from Texas but I think this host family interview with the Texan family woke me up and made me realise I want this! I know, my mum is still against the idea but she asks everyday if a new family is interested. Now that I turned down the host family from California with whom I Skyped two days ago (I just did not feel comfortable but they answered that they feel similarly, dumbasses) I have no interested families again. That is very frustrating, especially if my friend who was approved to be seen by the host family three weeks later than I had already four suggestions and is in contact with a family who she really likes and who likes her back so they are probably going to match. AM I THIS BAD?! I want a family now so I can get the visa. This takes at least four weeks and I wanted to depart in July! I think now that I know what I  want the Au Pair thing is not going to happen because I won’t find a fitting host family…

P.S. Check out my new blog especially for my year abroad! 

Police interrogation

Hey there,

I am very busy with learning for my A-Levels lately but I try to have time for my Host family search as well.
My dream family from Texas rejected me unfortunately and I was very desperate until I got a new suggestion yesterday. I was sure that I will never find a good host family, maybe because I am too late or my application is total crap.

I wrote with the host dad of the newly suggested host family (from Chicago) and we arranged a Skype Interview for today. I was not very nervous because I thought it will be as casual as the one with the host mum from Texas last week. Think again! It was horrible ( and lasted even longer!) The host dad asked me a lot of questions, sometimes even very private ones like how my parents punished me or who I am closest to in my family and why. He wanted to know a lot of things (my hobbies, in detail, e.g. how often and what I cook, my driving behaviour, e.g. which car I drive and how often, if I had been in a foreign country alone, e.g. where I did my internship, how it was, how my exchange to England was, and so on. A ton of questions, I was afraid that it will never end. It was worse than every police interrogation I could imagine. Sometimes I had difficulties to express what I want to say but I think he understood me and even said my English is very good! At the end I was able to ask some questions and it seemed like he want to have perfect kids so they are constantly under pressure to improve. Moreover there were quite a few rules for the AuPair and he emphasised that the AuPair would be a worker with special treatment but a worker! In addition to this electronic devices like phones and tablets are not allowed there.

That is not the family I searched for so I just declined a second Skype interview, this time with the host mum.

Certain but disappointed 

Hi people, 

the Skype Interview and my situation at home let me see that I should and want to be an AuPair although I know that my mum will be sad about it. I was so hopeful aboutthefamily from Texas and I really imagined living there. I wrote their current AuPair but she didn’t answer me. I think this could be thereason they did not pick me. They might have thought that I am not interested in them because their AuPair has not got my email because it maybe got into her spam folder. I do not know. What I know was that I was very disappointed that they did not pick me as their AuPair. I really wanted it. This made me realize that I want to do a year abroad. Although I never truly believed they would pick me (I screwed up the Skype Interview, I asked not enough questions and talked too less all in all and maybe because they thought I never emailed their AuPair and I do not care enough – although I did). I haven’t heard of them for two days and when I saw that I got an email yesterday evening I knew that this would be a refusal email so I was afraid to open it. I was totally down yesterday and i maybe cried a bit. The only thing I could think about today was that they did not want me although I was the AuPair’s favorite. So I screwed it up by being me. Great. I never got am positive answer to any application I sent, regardless to whom or what. Both families who turned me down said that my application is great and I will easily find a host family. Haha, good joke. Three families wrote me in three weeks. I will never find a family until September. I know it sounds ridiculous because it seems like I want to take part in the AuPair Programme since Tuesday but you know I really wanted this a long time before and I just got uncertain because of school and my family.  

Skype Interview

Hey guys,

I had my first Skype Interview yesterday. It was with the host mum from Texas. I was not very nervous because I was sure that I would not want to pick the family so I thought of the Interview as a new experience. We were to skype at 3pm, 8am her time. Okay, a few minutes before I was very nervous and thought about quitting our meeting. Luckily, I didn’t. She was so nice and cute. First, she introduced herself and said she will talk about her children and then I should talk about myself and in the ensvideo we would answer each other’s questions so our talk is not tensed but like the one of two friends. She told me a lot about her three children, I knew the most of it already but I was happy about her talking the whole time. Then I told her something about school, my babysitting duties, my family and my hobbies. After that she asked if I have any questions, I hadn’t. I already asked some via Email. So she just started talking about her everyday life and how the kids behave, that the AuPair would be a family member and what would be expected of the AuPair. Thank God, I remembered two questions so I seemed a bit interested although I wrote everything down about the families beforehand and a few questions I could ask but nothing seemed appropriate during our talk. She even told me about their current AuPair and that she helps picking a new AuPair. She showed me that their AuPair marked me as her favorite. Yes! The interview took 22 minutes but it seemed much shorter. I really fell in love with the family! I could imagine living there. I think if the family would want me I would say yes. Well I got the e-mail address of the current AuPair and I wrote her so I am really excited what she will answer. 

Becca

That was fast! 

Hey there,

new news from the AuPair front. I got an Email from a new Host family on Friday. I replied approximately 16 hours later. The kids are soooo cute! A girl (9) and a boy (6). The family seems very sporty and active. They picked me probably because of my very active video which does not mirror my real life, I just needed scenes with children whuchand was easiest by jumping trampoline and playing soccer and I wanted to show that I do sports sometimes with the running. It is only now that I noticed that I seen like a sports fanatic in the video. Great. I haven’t got an answer on my Email yet. That is not so bad I mean now I can enjoy my last week of school without being nervous about my interview and I AM STILL NOT SURE IF I WANT TO DO THIS. I mean it is very selfish. My mum relies on me and if I leave she is alone with my dad and my sis with whom she has a lot of fights. 

Update: The family wrote me tonight. I cannot open it. My motto: If I do not know it it isn’t there. Haha, naïve.