Police interrogation

Hey there,

I am very busy with learning for my A-Levels lately but I try to have time for my Host family search as well.
My dream family from Texas rejected me unfortunately and I was very desperate until I got a new suggestion yesterday. I was sure that I will never find a good host family, maybe because I am too late or my application is total crap.

I wrote with the host dad of the newly suggested host family (from Chicago) and we arranged a Skype Interview for today. I was not very nervous because I thought it will be as casual as the one with the host mum from Texas last week. Think again! It was horrible ( and lasted even longer!) The host dad asked me a lot of questions, sometimes even very private ones like how my parents punished me or who I am closest to in my family and why. He wanted to know a lot of things (my hobbies, in detail, e.g. how often and what I cook, my driving behaviour, e.g. which car I drive and how often, if I had been in a foreign country alone, e.g. where I did my internship, how it was, how my exchange to England was, and so on. A ton of questions, I was afraid that it will never end. It was worse than every police interrogation I could imagine. Sometimes I had difficulties to express what I want to say but I think he understood me and even said my English is very good! At the end I was able to ask some questions and it seemed like he want to have perfect kids so they are constantly under pressure to improve. Moreover there were quite a few rules for the AuPair and he emphasised that the AuPair would be a worker with special treatment but a worker! In addition to this electronic devices like phones and tablets are not allowed there.

That is not the family I searched for so I just declined a second Skype interview, this time with the host mum.

Results

I got my results from the written part of my A-Levels today. I would have been satisfied with at least 10 points in history and 7-8 points in English and German. 

I cried when I saw how many points I achieved. I managed to get 10 in history and 8 in English but 5 ! points in German. I knew that it was not perfect but I never expected it to be so bad. I couldn’t stop the tears. It was awful. Everyone told me it is not that bad and that some were altogether even worse than me but that does not cheer me up. Okay some probably did not pass and I feel bad for crying because of 3 points if they did not made it and did not cry. But it was so important to be good. I do not know if I should try to improve my points in an extra test. I doubt that I could increase my points a lot. 

I did not hurry with coming home. When.I got home my mum was very disappointed and said she always thought native German speakers without immigrant background are able to get much more points and that this looks like I am totally dump and that no one will hire me. That was really encouraging. My answer was that clever people will know that it is much more than correct German spelling and grammar and if she thinks she would have scored higher but she said that is not comparable and that I am very arrogant thinking that everybody I deal with is dumb. She cannot understand why I left to go to my room. The first thing I did there was eating chocolate. I just made first steps in getting over it and she crushed it and made everything worse. Maybe I should do a year abroad just to get away from her although she is the reason I originally did not want to go…

At the moment I am discovering my love for Metal music🤘🎧🎵

No match

Hey guys! 

I turned down the offer of the host family from Atlanta. I checked out their site on the AuPair website. The e-mail sounded great but when I read the letter to the future AuPair I was not certain that this is the family I want. The kids have ADHD and have to take pills and are often naughty but “it is very funny and difficult not to laugh about it” What? Totally funny when they do what they want. Moreover, I really do not want the parents working from home. I would always feel watched. Moreover, there not only lived the parents with its two children but all grandparents too. The biggest problem was that I would have have to take my holidays when they were in summer holidays only a few weeks after I would have arrived. I do not have money then. The good things would have been that I would have to work weekdays often so I had free on weekends most of the time. Moreover, Atlanta is cool although I would prefer the West Coast. The family looks nice too and has a lot of workers so I would not have much to do. But I was wondering why they even need an AuPair with all this people living there… Maybe I am too picky or my subconscious wants to tell me that deep inside me I do not want to go to the US… 

Becca

Finished

I am done with the written part of my A-Levels since 3 hours. I imagined it worse.

The first suggestion was a speech about the republic as state form from 1848. Task one was to summarize it and Task 2 to write about the different political meanings and the Vormärz from 1815 to 1848. The third task was to state if the excerpt from the speech that if the republic has to be forced onto the people it is no real republic anymore suits for the Weimarer Republik. 

Suggestion B was a manifest by the Nationalkomitee Freies Deutschland which demanded that the people should put up resistance against Hitler. Task one was to summarize and Task two to explain the different forms, motivations and dangers of resistance. Eventually one had to discuss whether Germany was free in 1949.

Suggestion C was about the German reunification. First one had to summarize the letter from the UdSSR to Kohl. Second, one had to tell the circumstances of the reunification 1989/90 and third, one had to explain what it means that Germany has learned of the last 40 years. 

I was not sure if I should pick A or B. When I have read A I was glad and really liked the third task. When I made some notes I could not remember what has happened after 1837. There was a blank space between 1837 and 1848. There has not happened anything relevant. I could have picked this suggestion but instead I took B. I have not learned the resistance in the Third Reich precisely but three years ago I made a presentation about Helmuth James Graf von Moltke and remembered a bit about him. Moreover I know a bit about Georg Elser, the Weiße Rose, Bonhoeffer and Claus Schenck Graf von Stauffenberg and made a lot of conclusions and maybe even weave some aspects. Hehe. To the last one I wrote about the state of occupation, the Marshall plan, the founding of the BRD and the DDR, the Grundgesetz, the monetary reform and Adenauers foreign politics. I think it was not so bad but I am mad at me that I have not chosen the first suggestion! 

But guys it is over! Strangely, I am kind of sad that it is over now. We get holidays on Friday and then I have to start learning for my oral exams in Maths and Religious Education. I think R.E. won’t be a problem but maths… 

Thank for your support! 

XOXO Becca

Empty brain

I have to write my last A-Levels exam tomorrow – History. I thought I can do it but it is so much. I have 20 pages (with front and back) with a lot of post-it’s about the German history from 1800 to 1949. Actually, I should know everything until 1990 but my brain and the time are too limited. The only thing I know is what I do not know. When I was afraid of German and English and could not imagine it could be worse. I cannot remember anything from history. My brain is totally blank. Moreover, I am very tired. I had no school today and I am learning since 12 am but it does not stay inside my head. I had hoped that writing it down will help me to learn it but I forgot somehow. Anyway, I think about doing this school year again so failing would help me make up my mind although I think there is nothing more horrible than messing it up. I think I started learning too late. I was convinced my written sheets help me but I CANNOT REMEMBER A DAMN THING! Help! I am so tired (physically and mentally). I am so afraid. History is about knowledge. Why did I chose it again? Oh yeah, because I am worse in any other subject. 

Please keep your fingers crossed. I am so scared! 

BECCA😱😨😰😭 (a total mess)

Done

hey there,

before I write my second A-Level exam tomorrow I want to tell you how English was. It was okay. When I got the three different suggestions I read them one by one. The first one was about slavery. There was a text about a 11 year old girl, who got a slave for her birthday but does not like it and lets her slave free. The first task was to summarize it. The second one was to analyze the stylistic devices and the narrative perspective and how they support the feeling of the girl. The third one was to write a speech as a speaker on a congress against slavery regarding a given bar chart about slavery in the U.K. today.

Suggestion B was about Ethnic identity. The text given were two excerpts of the drama “disgrace”. First, one had to outline the role of religion in Amir’s family. Second, one had to statuette problems in relation to immigrants in the U.K. regarding material discussed in class and the last one was to assess whether cultural appropriation is reprehensible.

Suggestion C was about South Africa. This was a suggestion which had 3 tasks and a mediation. The mediation was about art as an expression of oppression. Task 1 was to summarize the English text. Task 2 was to compare the text to the picture given and to the killing of Amy Biehl in the novel “Mother to mother” by Sindiwe Magona, which we read in class. Discussing if art IS an expression of unsatisfaction was task 3.

After reading one by one I was sure not to pick the currently read one. I was almost ready to chose the one with the mediation although I thought it would be too much but after reading this one as well I was not sure which I should pick. They were all 💩. The first one I eliminated was C because the mediation text was terrible. It seemed it consisted only of names. Moreover, I did not wanted to work with the novel and was not sure what to write for task 3.

It took me really long to decide between A and B. Eventually, I chose B although I had not understand the text. I would have really liked to take A because writing a speech would have been great but the problem was I had not seen one stylistic device in the text and the task was important so I decided to take B. Fortunately, I understood the text while working with it but I think I wrote a lot of unimportant things and sometimes it is probably hard to understand what I mean. Later Jaqueline, who goes to a different school, told me that her teacher said that the Kultusministerium made a little mistake because there are only 2-3 stylistic devices in the text of suggestion A so it is not exspected to write about the stylistic devices but to write a general analysis. If I had known that I would have taken this suggestion! But I cannot blame my teacher because I asked the other English classes at my school but they have not known about it, too. Now it it over and I cannot change it anymore but this infuriates me more than I thought. Grrrr.

However, tomorrow I write my German A-Level exam and I am very nervous although I do not take it very serious because it would not have been necessary to learn for the English A-Levels so I think, better hope, for tasks like this in German, too, although there was no topic I had wished for in English. In German I would like to have poems from the Expressionism and the Romantic like the task last year. A task about “Die Jungfrau von Orleans” by Schiller, “Die Marquise von O” by Kleist or “Lenz” by Büchner would be okay as well. I definitely do not choose the task about “Der Prozess” by Kafka! Okay, I could pick the speech analysis if there is no other possible task although my teacher exspects a lot of background knowledge there. I am, again, not ready. I have not learned enough, again. I am nervous. I hope I can make it. Wish me luck.

All the best luck to the people who write tomorrow!

Becca;)

What next?

Hi there,
I am still here, do not worry!

I do not know if I told you about my plan spending a year abroad as an Au Pair in the US this year after my A-Levels because you know that I always want to go to the US and that living in the US is a dream of me. My blog post about how badly I want to visit the US sometimes. I was so confident about the idea that I never thought it would fail. To be an Au Pair you need at least 200 hours of childcare experience which I have with my two internships in kindergarten. The problem is that it must not be older than 3 years and one of it was in January 2014 and with that 3 years ago. I hoped it would still count but my interviewer told me yesterday after I did all the things which were needed ( a medical form completed by a doctor – I even had to be x-rayed -, a character reference, two childcare references – I crazed the kindergarten because I wanted them to hurry because I knew it would become tight, so I even sent my aunt there because she said they should not be the reason why I am not able to do it. But they were not fast enough. -, a lot of copies of official documents like my passport, a criminal record and the thing which was extremly time-consuming and which made a great effort was the application video which was very hard to film and cut and edit. I am very disappointed and there is no chance how I can get to missing hours especially not a few weeks before my A-Levels! I want to concentrate on good A-Level results rather than on desperatly trying to make my year abroad become reality. I mean I was never so sure about it because it would be a long time I would not be at home. Although I think it would have been a great distraction from home.
Okay, I have cried for a short time when I read the message but now everything is fine. I still have not told it anybody.
The good thing is there is still something I can work for: a journey to the US although I am not sure I want to be there when Trump is president. Well, then I have to wait four more years but that is not much regarding the time I have dreamed about it already!
In the meantime I am going to be a student, the only problem is I have no clue what I want to do later and with that I do not know what to study! Because of this the year abroad would have been a great chance to think about it.

Have a nice weekend.
Becca ♥