Hey guys,
I finally back. My adventure in the US continues. I had interesting last few months, where I put my finger in an immersion blender, had my first car accident, still have zero friends, have been to five different states, celebrated my first christmas and new years without my family, had an American thanksgiving, went to New York City to admire the christmas decorations, am going to an US-college, had a sleepover at a museum, watched the SuperBowl in the US (my host familiy’s favorite team won, my hostdad and my oldest host kid even flew to Minneapolis),  was skiing the first time after seven years, was snowtubing, made harbor cruise, baked a lot and am still not missing home.

So first of all, my finger is fine, it was on Patriot’s day and the boys had no school so in the afternoon we decided to make three different dishes, we, well more I finished the dessert, Banana split pie and we moved on to the next thing, carrot chickpea snacks. My oldest one does not like chickpeas so after succesfully mashing the chickpeas we decided to mash black beans. Black beans are much more solid than chickpeas so I decided to use the immersion blender to shred it. It worked out well, I was afraid the boys would get hurt so I told them to stay back and did it myself. After unplugging it i wanted to clean it, I even had to think about my mum and if it would be one of her stories I would cut off my finger now. Suddenly the immersion blender started and my finger was caught inside the blade. I was so shocked I just cried out once and told the boys to stay away. It started bleeding heavily right away and i tried to remove the blade from my finger. That was the moment I saw I did not unplugg the immersion blender but the mixer next to it. Damn!!! It hurted so bad and I clutched my finger and squeezed it as hard as i could to make it numb and stop the bleeding. I rushed to the bathroom to let cold water run over it. It was bleeding so much I bleed like a pig and left stains everywhere regardless of the mess I made when my finger was caught in the blender, I threw everything sitting on the counter down on the floor. To avoid the boys seeing me crying I send them away to have screentime while I panicked and started crying and wished my mum would be here because she knows what to do. So I paced through the house, crying, unable to watch how much of my finger I had cut off, hoping my host mum would come home. Unfortunately it was just after 3 and she would not be home for the next three hours. I was weighing the pros and cons of calling 911. I was worried about the boys, what would happen with them, what about my insurance etc, so I decided I had to look at it and see how bad it was but I just couldnt because I was so afraid to see how bad it really was because I knew my finger was still there but was it hanging at a string? After wandering through the house for 70 minutes I decided to look at it. I was a little bit dissapointed that the boys never looked for me but it was probably better. So when I lessened the pressure around my finger it started bleeding profusely again. I let water running over it now without my other hand protecting it so it washed up the fresh blood and i could finally see it, it was actually better than i imagined, I had cut it right where the finger nail started and even the finger nail was cut in half until the middle of the nail. I was just worried because it did not stop bleeding. I called my mum but she did not pick up so I called my sister, guys, I was desperate, I had to talk to someone! She was no big help because she was so engaged in her computer game. Well I just told her everything anyway and she told me mum was working. Because she did not listen anyways our call ended after 10 minutes and I started cleaning up the kitchen. I hoped I could clean up most of it before my host parents would come home, it was already a little after five. But I was not lucky this day, my host mum came approx. 5 minutes after I had started cleaning up, she said it looks like we were very busy and when she saw the blood I told her what has happended  but that I was fine. She asked if i would have to go to the hospital but I said no. So she continued working from home and I had to clean up the kitchen but I ended up talking to my mum because I had wrote her some messages which were stuff like ‘Do not worry, I did not die’ because I was frustrated when I haven’t been able to reach her. She was shocked and wanted to know everything in detail and i had to send her tons of pictures. She was worried but I tried to calm her down. When my host dad came home he was very worried and wanted to see it right away but we were about to have dinner so I did not want to ruin that and my host mum said I am old enough he does not need to check on me. Thanks! I was actually really relieved to show it to someone who was not thousands of miles away. After dinner i showed it to him and he said it is sketchy and I should decide if I wanna go to the ER he would drive me there. He has been there often because he had a lot of injuries already. But I refused his offer. My host mum gave me an antibiotic ointment which I applied and put an band aid on.
Now my finger is healed without seeing an doctor. My finger tip is numb and the part where the cut is is very sensitive, even the slightest touches hurt. My fingernail is split and started to protrude so I had to cut off these part and now I have a hole in my nail.

I am telling you more about the other events the next time.

What I wanted to write about was home. I got a 5 year journal at the beginning of the year, where you have to answer a question every day and they repeat every year for five years. It currently asked me what home is and I wrote that I refer to my living place in Germany as home as well as to my host parents house. At first I tried to not refer to the house in the US as home when I talked to my mum but that is ridicioulus, I was searching for a second family, although I doubt I found it. Today I realised I have no real home where I am feeling 100% comfortable. Alone the thought of returning to Germany scares me. Everything seems so small, boring and predetermined while I am free here. I can’t return, but should I extend? It is not as good as I imagined and most of the times it is awkward with my host parents. This question stressed me out so much, I knew already after a few weeks I would extend for nine more months but with the same family? The area is great, I kind of like the boys, they are so cute and well mannered and if I would leave them for another family I would definitly throw away even the slightest chance to see them as a second family and stay in contact. But maybe I would find a better family somewhere else! Ahhhhh! So I recently decided to wait what they would do, if they ask me to stay longer I would although I am not so sure, looking at my work, I wouldnt ask me… Well, to make it even harder, my mum suggested I should go to New Zealand as an Au Pair after my year here. I have no idea how she came up with this idea. She always tells me how much she misses me and she can’t wait until I come home and then she wants me to leave again? Why? She said I should think about it. I already did some research. I am not sure. I kind of like the idea but it feels like I will never accomplish something. I will start studying 3 years after graduation. My fellow students will be 3 years younger than me! I kind of like the thought to extend for 6 months AND go to New Zealand but my mum will hate this idea but I should make my own decisions! I mean it was her idea with New Zealand! But I do not want to break my mum’s heart! Oh man, what should I do? Moreover, I miss my cat Frau Schröder so much (she is actually the only living being I miss) and what would it do to her if I would leave her again? I would miss 2 years of her life!

Do not get me wrong, I love Germany. Staying in the US made me even realise how much! I just can’t bear the thought of returning home to my family in my small home town with no clue what to do in my future. I would not like to stay here permanently, Germany is too cool but I living somewhere else. When I don’t do it know I never will! And it is always just for a short amount of time and not for forever.

Btw, I am so proud of Germany leading the Olympic medal table. I even betted with my host dad that Germany would get more gold medals than the US, we did it already 2006 and 2010. Come on Germany!




Good morning,

I am currently sitting in the airplane. We are standing on the airfield for almost one and a half hours now because of the mist. 

The day began already excellent. When I checked in and gave away my suitcase it was too heavy (only one kg above the maximum weight) and I had to take something out, in the end it was my winter jacket. I wear two jackets now although it will be 26 C in New York. Awesome! I was so furious I started to cry. 

We met my aunt, my uncle and my cousin and walked to the passport check together. In front of it we waited for one hour and talked. My cousin has made me a little book, which is very cute.

Before the Passport check I had to say goodbye to my family. My sister and father were totally cool but my mother cried the whole time. I thought I would cry too because I have started crying the days before when my mum cried and even cried when my little cousin cried because I would leave. But now I was very cool. Maybe because I am so excited and can’t wait to get there. My dream comes true. I am so happy! The last days I looked full of joy towards my departure and only felt bad when my mum started crying but all in all I am very happy. 

Oh we start moving so I turn on the flight mode now. See you! 


So Leuts,

I have less than 24 hours left with my family. I am total panicking, not because I leave ( I think that is going to happen soon) but because I am packing my suitcase since Sunday, okay I started on Sunday and continued yesterday and I have too much stuff. Originally I thought I am really good at packing, everything seemed to fit and I wasn’t even sure if I need the hand luggage but everyone made me feel like I have not enough and now I have too much (it does not fit into the suitcase I haven’t weighed it yet) and I does not know what to leave at home, everything seems important! I have not much else than clothes, is this normal? Unfortunately, the presents for the host family take one third of the space! Ups. 

My aunt made a USA – Rebecca is coming Party yesterday. There were burgers and beer (Bud light for me and German for the others, to be honest I haven’t tasted a difference) and I have baked cookie butter cupcakes. There was American music and my aunt wanted to know everything about my flight, my travel preparations, my first days in New York, my future if I want to expand. She said I should not answer the messages of my mum everyday because when I am not at home it should feel like it too. My mum could have killed her. 

I am still not nervous because I cannot realise I am leaving tomorrow. Weird. 

I crafted the whole week (instead of packing) goodbye presents for my parents and my grandma: a clock full of pictures with typical American images so they know what time it is in Boston and a calendar with pictures from us as well as from New England. Now that I am finish I think it is ridiculous and a totally self centered present but I thought I have to give them something! 

What I have to do today is obviously packing, cleaning up my room, it looks like something exploded in here because I have thrown everything I thought I wanted to take with me into the floor and now there is barely floor visible, I want to shower, eat all the stuff which only I eat (happy eating), vacuum at my grandma’s, search the suitcase scale, say goodbye to my grandma and my aunt, cook dinner (Chili con carne), maybe read, oh not to forget quit my job, sleep and I think that’s it. 


Hey guys,

I totally forgot to tell you of the events this weekend because I was so excited. I just wrote about me not knowing how my future looks like and that I am in contact with this great AuPair host family from Boston… I skyped with both host parents on Friday. The host dad is as nice as the host mum, they are both very funny and sympathetic. He asked me a few question (some were the same which the host mum had asked a week earlier but I tried to talk a lot and answer them honestly. We talked again for 40 minutes and honestly, it did not feel like such a long time! They wanted to meet my parents and I should meet their kids so we set up another talk for the next day. (My mum was more nervous than I). 

First, I talked with the boys, which are adorable by the way, and I barely understood a word because they talked so fast. Luckily the host mum repeated everything and assured me I should now worry much about it, their current AuPair had problems at the beginning as well. Then they talked to my parents who did not say much but they just kept talking. At the end they said they like me and if I want to be their AuPair. That was very surprising for me but without further thinking I said yes and I do not regret it! Guys, I have a match! I am so happy and cannot wait for my arrival in the US in 98 days!

Xoxo Becca


I am done with the written part of my A-Levels since 3 hours. I imagined it worse.

The first suggestion was a speech about the republic as state form from 1848. Task one was to summarize it and Task 2 to write about the different political meanings and the Vormärz from 1815 to 1848. The third task was to state if the excerpt from the speech that if the republic has to be forced onto the people it is no real republic anymore suits for the Weimarer Republik. 

Suggestion B was a manifest by the Nationalkomitee Freies Deutschland which demanded that the people should put up resistance against Hitler. Task one was to summarize and Task two to explain the different forms, motivations and dangers of resistance. Eventually one had to discuss whether Germany was free in 1949.

Suggestion C was about the German reunification. First one had to summarize the letter from the UdSSR to Kohl. Second, one had to tell the circumstances of the reunification 1989/90 and third, one had to explain what it means that Germany has learned of the last 40 years. 

I was not sure if I should pick A or B. When I have read A I was glad and really liked the third task. When I made some notes I could not remember what has happened after 1837. There was a blank space between 1837 and 1848. There has not happened anything relevant. I could have picked this suggestion but instead I took B. I have not learned the resistance in the Third Reich precisely but three years ago I made a presentation about Helmuth James Graf von Moltke and remembered a bit about him. Moreover I know a bit about Georg Elser, the Weiße Rose, Bonhoeffer and Claus Schenck Graf von Stauffenberg and made a lot of conclusions and maybe even weave some aspects. Hehe. To the last one I wrote about the state of occupation, the Marshall plan, the founding of the BRD and the DDR, the Grundgesetz, the monetary reform and Adenauers foreign politics. I think it was not so bad but I am mad at me that I have not chosen the first suggestion! 

But guys it is over! Strangely, I am kind of sad that it is over now. We get holidays on Friday and then I have to start learning for my oral exams in Maths and Religious Education. I think R.E. won’t be a problem but maths… 

Thank for your support! 

XOXO Becca


English: done

German: done

The only subject left is history and I have still 6 days until it. I am ONE of the people who write during the longest time. 

The suggestions in German were excellent. The first one was about the poem “Notturno” written by Max Herrmann-Neiße in 1914. Task 1 was to interpret it. The second one was to compare it to the poem “Erwartung” by Joseph von Eichendorff, published 1826? (I am not sure anymore) and to relate it to the historical background. Discussing if lyric is a suitable medium to express human feelings. 

Suggestion B’s first task was to Reader the excerpt of Max Frisch’s novel Stiller and to point out what his situation is. Second, one had to compare the expectations on him to the one on Johanna from  “Die Heilige Jungfrau von Orleans” and how they deal with it. Third, one should compare the relationship of Goethes’s Gretchen and Faust to the quote by Max Frisch  

“Auch sind wir die Verfasser der anderen; wir sind auf eine heimliche und unentrinnbare Weise verantwortlich für das Gesicht, das sie uns zeigen, verantwortlich nicht für ihre Anlage, aber für die Ausschöpfung dieser Anlage.” – Erstes Tagebuch

It means something like we are the authors of other people, too. We are responsible for them in a inescapable way and responsible for the side of them they show us. Not responsible for their aptitude but what they make of it.

Suggestion C was an excerpt of “Die Blechtrommel” by  Task 1) was to summarize it and outline the stylistic and narrative perspective. 2) was to compare the view of the main character and the circumstances of his birth to Grenouille from “The Perfume” by Patrick Süskind. Last, one had to argue why the quote (I do not remember how it goes exactly) that Kafka is afraid of the world because he is not very experienced and that this is a spiral that never stops fits to Kafka’s protagonist K from “The process”.
Of course I picked A without further thinking but for a short time I thought about picking B. I wanted a comparison of poems. But I think I screwed it up. I was not sure what the last stanza of “Notturno” means so after I realised it was written in 1914 I thought that – perhaps – it deals with World War I, too. So I compare the last one to the brutality of War and that it sound more coherent I added this aspect to the analysis of the other stanzas. It seemed so logical because expressionistic poems are often ambiguous. I could have googled if it is right what I wrote but I am afraid that it is wrong so I do not. I am so glad, that I did not have to write maths yesterday😆


Happy New Year

Well you probably thought I forgot it because I did not wrote something about happy new year in my last post but I would never forget you! 😉
I know not everyone of you has a new year already but I have since now so I wish you all a happy new year 2016 and for the ones who liked 2015 I hope this year’s gonna be at least as good as 2015 was and for the ones who did not enjoy 2015 ( like me) I hope 2016 will be a lot better than the last year! I googled a lot but I did not found a translation for the German idiom Guten Rutsch! which means translated word to word Good slide! One says it when one sees someone one does not see or talk to again before midnight which means somebody should get over into the new year well it is a way to say Happy New Year before midnight!
Thank you for an amazing first year on Wattpad even though I publish very rarely and although I do not have resolutions I try to post more this year!
HAPPY NEW YEAR and may the odds be ever in YOUR favor!

All the best, Rebecca