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So Leuts,

I have less than 24 hours left with my family. I am total panicking, not because I leave ( I think that is going to happen soon) but because I am packing my suitcase since Sunday, okay I started on Sunday and continued yesterday and I have too much stuff. Originally I thought I am really good at packing, everything seemed to fit and I wasn’t even sure if I need the hand luggage but everyone made me feel like I have not enough and now I have too much (it does not fit into the suitcase I haven’t weighed it yet) and I does not know what to leave at home, everything seems important! I have not much else than clothes, is this normal? Unfortunately, the presents for the host family take one third of the space! Ups. 

My aunt made a USA – Rebecca is coming Party yesterday. There were burgers and beer (Bud light for me and German for the others, to be honest I haven’t tasted a difference) and I have baked cookie butter cupcakes. There was American music and my aunt wanted to know everything about my flight, my travel preparations, my first days in New York, my future if I want to expand. She said I should not answer the messages of my mum everyday because when I am not at home it should feel like it too. My mum could have killed her. 

I am still not nervous because I cannot realise I am leaving tomorrow. Weird. 

I crafted the whole week (instead of packing) goodbye presents for my parents and my grandma: a clock full of pictures with typical American images so they know what time it is in Boston and a calendar with pictures from us as well as from New England. Now that I am finish I think it is ridiculous and a totally self centered present but I thought I have to give them something! 

What I have to do today is obviously packing, cleaning up my room, it looks like something exploded in here because I have thrown everything I thought I wanted to take with me into the floor and now there is barely floor visible, I want to shower, eat all the stuff which only I eat (happy eating), vacuum at my grandma’s, search the suitcase scale, say goodbye to my grandma and my aunt, cook dinner (Chili con carne), maybe read, oh not to forget quit my job, sleep and I think that’s it. 

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My birthday

Hey guys,

my birthday was better than expected. A friend of mine came by surprisingly (she drove 10 km by bike just to visit me (one way)) That’s so cute! She even brought me a present: a book. It is a thriller about a family whose nanny isn’t what they expected… I’ll tell you how it is then. 

Like I planned I got up at 9am and found an envelope which my sis stuffed through under my door. It was a coupon and a handwritten letter. My mum just hugged me and wished me all the best. We had breakfast then. After it I wanted to go running but first my grandma came and have me her gift: a card with money: American money. My first US Dollars! and second my grandpa phoned congratulated me and asked if I have got his letter. In fact, it has already arrived and contained the only Euros I would get this birthday.  When she left because my mum had to drive her to the doctor I went running. In the meantime a few people wrote me birthday wishes, two acquaintances and my uncle. After my mum came back with my grandma and I had showered she gave me my birthday present: a bouquet of flowers (which she has bought when she waited for my grandma) and a card with money, again American. She said she couldn’t wait until my dad comes back. 

My mum and I cleaned up the house until my sister came back from school because my sister’s math teacher was supposed to come later to teach her some extra math lessons. My sister did not mention my birthday or acknowledged my thank-you. 

At 3pm the doorbell rang. I did not expected visitors and the math teacher would not come before 5pm so I was very surprised when my friend (I call her like that now that she came by only for me and although I did not visit her on her birthday (what makes me a guilty conscience). Fortunately I have baked a cake the day before and after I have showed her my bedroom we ate cake (she ate even 3 which made me very happy because this shows me she liked it). Bit by bit my mum and grandma joined us and we all talked. When my father came home he joined us too and was disappointed that my mum has given me their gift already. I was even able to convince my friend to drink a glass of Amarula although she doesn’t like alcohol. Later it started raining heavily and we had to go inside. Then it was time for my friend to leave to but because of the rain my father was so kind to drive her and her bike. Because of the later I wasn’t able to accompany them unfortunately. 

Dinner was one of my favorite foods: salmon and spinach. Yummy! Just minutes before it was ready my uncle, aunt and cousin came by to give me my present: US dollars! 

The test of the day I watched TV with my parents but had to go to bed early because the next day I had to get up eearly because I had to work. But that’s a different story.

XOXO Becca

Visa granted

So guys, 

I had my appointment at the US consulate yesterday. I was not very nervous although my mom told me permanently that my visa will probably be declined. My only concern was that I would carry something with me I was not allowed to bring inside. When I was about to leave in the morning I just thought of my fitness tracker which I left at home then and because cell phones are prohibited too I had no watch! Argh! I had to take train and subway and although I left 2 hours before my appointment I arrived just 15 minutes too early. I was very scarred that I miss it because one has to pay for another appointment then. I.had to pass two security checks. At the first the man spoke German but at the second was a very bulky guy who almost screamed at us. I think being in the military feels like this. It was very weird but because of this experience I started talking with a very nice girl who will make an internship in Harvard and will live in Boston. We had to go to various counters where we had to show our documents until we had to line up before another counter, the interview counter. There was only one counter for 30 people. We were lucky, the line got longer and longer and in the end there were about 50 people and still just one counter. But the time flew by talking wwith the girl and later two guys joined in, the one has been several times to the US already and will stay three months in Atlanta. The other one makes an internship in another office of his company in Pittsburg. Go Steelers!

The interview itself was very short, the man behind the counter asked me what my purpose of my journey to the US is. I told him I want to do an year abroad as an AuPair in Boston, Massachusetts, He then asked what my childcare experience are and I explained him what I have done already. That was it. My visa got approved. I waited for the girl who was behind me and we went to the Central Station together. 

In general, I can say that all people who talked in English with me regardless if they were part of the security or behind a counter were ten times nicer than the ones who talked in German with me, okay one exception, the guy who interviewed me, he was very pissed and no the bulky security guy was nice, he even joked when we left. 

I will my host family when my visa arrives here. It takes one day to get proceeded says the official website of the consulate so I am hopeful to hold my visa this weekend!

Visa

So people, I got the date for my Visa appointment in the General consulate in Frankfurt. Next Wednesday I will go there. The possible dates were all very early and I have to take at least two trains before my appointment so I will not miss it! I am so excited. It is getting more and more real and although I can barely think about something else, I still can’t realise it! Only 86 days until I fly to New York! I am so happy!

Mom

Originally I should have started working today but I am (still) without an occupation. My mom forbid me to start working in the company because I would make less money than a cleaning lady. Well, I planned to work to have something to do in the first place. Gaining money was just a very big positive side effect. I had to quit it, I already had the working contract. Sigh! I really liked what I would have done! Damn it!

Because I am serious about finding a place to work I wrote new applications straight away. I even got my first answer only one day later. He invited me to a personal talk two days later but only if I would work there for a longer time then. Okay, I lied and said I would like to startthe studying and stay in the area. But hey, I felt bad. My mom made me cancel it because she said the day the interview would have been was the only day we could go and have a breakfast together as a family like it used to be a tradition once every summer break. With family she meant her, my sister and me, not my father. She made me feel bad too and in addition to the bad feeling because I lied I canceled it. 

But now the thing which infuriates, yes present tense, the most: she told my uncle about Boston. Okay, that would not have been a problem in a normal family. So let me explain:

Short after I have matched with the super awesome host family in Boston my mum said she does not want my aunt and uncle to know it because they would not care about us anyway except for now when it seemed like I would go to the US. They would use this as an excuse to go to Boston too and would annoy not only me but my host family as well. Moreover, they would go there and would buy the flight as soon as they know while my mom could not afford visiting me there. Okay, I do not know why but I agreed with her and we did not tell anybody. A few days later I realised how ridiculous this is and that it isn’t true that my aunt does not care. She really supported not only my year abroad but everything I do (e.g. she was the one who got me the internship in England!). I really wanted to tell her although she was on vacation but told me to write if I hear anything from Boston before she drove. But my mom told me not to and I thought that she still needs time to accept it so I obeyed. When we visited my grandma and she asked if I got news from Boston my mom lied fastly before I could say anything and I did not disagree with her (big mistake). This was because she did not want my grandmother to tell my aunt about it. I was sick of all the lying so when we went to visit my other aunt I told her. I think my mom does not really like it but I told them everything about my host family and they seemed very happy. At that point my other aunt still did not know. A clever girl would have written her and told her everything but I thought they would be back the next day and then I could tell them in person. Unfortunately I haven’t seen them then. 

When my uncle, the one who has been on vacation, asked my mom yesterday if we have heard something from the host family she told him everything. When I asked her why she did it she asked if she should have lied. I told her that she lied to her mother but she did not care and could not understand why I was angry. First of all, I wanted to tell them, second, she did not wanted them to know in the first place and third, my aunt should have got to know it first, not her husband. So when my aunt came home, her husband told her everything and she stormed angrily into my room. Why I haven’t told her? Mhhh, why??? My sister then said that I wanted to tell them in person and my mom said that I am angry with her because she told my uncle. My aunt was very, very, very happy about the fact that I will stay in Boston one year but she and my uncle are mad that I haven’t told them. Great! My mom.thought that with this everything was fine but why has she told them that I am angry with her? Now it looks even more like I did not wanted them to know! She still does not get it and although I was angry with her, she is now angry with me and does not even talk with me anymore. Maybe because when she left the house this morning I called my grandma to tell her about Boston so it was me who told her and not my mom or my uncle, who was going to visit her today and would have told her about him being angry with me because of it for sure. I feel very bad for not letting them all know and decide myself what’s best. Why do I behave like an under-aged and do everything my mom tells me without thinking further about it! I am so dump!  Everyone hates me now!

I do not know if someone even understands what I am writing about but I have to write about it, I am  soooooooooo angry!

USA

Hey guys,

I totally forgot to tell you of the events this weekend because I was so excited. I just wrote about me not knowing how my future looks like and that I am in contact with this great AuPair host family from Boston… I skyped with both host parents on Friday. The host dad is as nice as the host mum, they are both very funny and sympathetic. He asked me a few question (some were the same which the host mum had asked a week earlier but I tried to talk a lot and answer them honestly. We talked again for 40 minutes and honestly, it did not feel like such a long time! They wanted to meet my parents and I should meet their kids so we set up another talk for the next day. (My mum was more nervous than I). 

First, I talked with the boys, which are adorable by the way, and I barely understood a word because they talked so fast. Luckily the host mum repeated everything and assured me I should now worry much about it, their current AuPair had problems at the beginning as well. Then they talked to my parents who did not say much but they just kept talking. At the end they said they like me and if I want to be their AuPair. That was very surprising for me but without further thinking I said yes and I do not regret it! Guys, I have a match! I am so happy and cannot wait for my arrival in the US in 98 days!

Xoxo Becca

Overwhelmed 

Guys, 

Only 100 days until the football season begins!!!😍

So now to what I actually wanted to say: I just cannot do anything anymore, not physically but mentally. Tomorrow is the first of my two oral exams for my A-Levels, tomorrow’s is math. It does not feel like a part of my A-Levels. Maybe because I haven’t had school since 18 days or because there is no one I can talk about it with. I just do not take it seriously not even one day before. It might be as well because regardless of how many points I get (I only need one to pass my A-Levels) my average is shitty. So I can be very relaxed because the teachers tend to give at least one point although I am certain my math teacher hates me. He will probably take a topic for tomorrow’s exam in which I am very bad. Anyway, it’s math, I will be satisfied if I get at least five points everything above would be a dream. The problem is I just cannot remember everything of the last two years! Especially not in math! 

Furthermore, my cat is very ill. She has barely moved and eaten since Sunday and only drank a bit this morning. I was not sure but when I touched she felt like she has temperature . So I went with her to the vet – only one day before my important exam. And I was right, she has 40C temperature! So she got a vitamin cure, antibiotics and an infusion. We got protein and Vitamine food and a painkiller for at home. All in all it costed 100€. Wow, I am totally broke now, although I babysitted twice this weekend. 

In addition to that, the fact that no host family was interested in me for more than one week and that there were only 5 ones overall in more than 4 weeks burns me out. My friend who is visible for host families for two weeks now has as much family suggestions as I. That’s frustrating. I get already used to the idea to stay in Germany. Now that I am finally aware of what I want it does not work out. At least I do not have to blame myself for taking so long until I was finally activated I did everything as fast as I could, even if I had wanted it since day 1 I would not have been visible for the host families any longer. I think most host families already found an AuPair and I am too late. I am still sad about not getting chosen by the host family from Texas. Now I do not know what to do if I cannot do my year abroad! There is only one month left until my preffered departure date. Weird. 
Well, first I have to pass my A-Levels now and then I can worry about my year abroad. Maybe a new family suggestion would distract me tomorrow anyway.