Math

I survived my oral math exam!!! Yeah! But my math teacher picked the three two-quarters I was not good, he just did not made a task about the topics in the two quarters I had 10 points (B-). Dumbass! It wasn’t even necessary that he uses the topics of three two quarters, of two two-quarters would have been enough. I saw the tasks and I did not know what to do. In the end, I solved all seven tasks, somehow. For most of them the result seemed wrong. First I had to tell two characteristics why the graph shows the cup from the pic and I had to calculate the maximal diameter. The graph given was shown from x=0 to x=8 and at 8 it had the biggest diameter (I knew it because of the picture given) so I just plugged in the 8 for the x in the function. 

Second, I had to draw a circle with the given centre and the givenvents intersection with the graph. Fortunately I brought my spring bow. So I delineated it into the coordinate system. Because of the spring bow and the given points I knew the radius and I was able to set up the equation for the circle. 

Next, I had to describe how I can calculate the radius exactly.

Then I had to check if the condition f(3)<0,25 is correct so I had to set up the derivation and insert 3 for x. 

The next one consisted of the calculating method and I had to explain what is happening in each step (it was about the volume of revolution)

Then I had to draw a tree diagram about twenty cappuccinos, 14 of them with, 6 without cocoa. From the 14 with cocoa the judges marked them as good with a 70% probability but the ones without only with a probability of 55% and calculate the probability for a cappuccino regardless if it was with or without cocoa to be marked as good. 

Last I had to calculate the probability for three good cappuccinos of five chosen cappuccinos from all the twenty cappuccinos. 

After presentating my teacher showed me that some results (the ones I was certain were correct) could not be right. Great! 

He just asked me some other questions, mainly if I could show them my calculating method. Sometimes the other math teacher said I explained it well but it is wrong what I could change to make it right – I DO NOT KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE I WOULD HAD DONE IT THIS WAY STRAIGHT AWAY! He asked me how a graph with a negative gradient looks like, what I could have done OTHERWISE to proof that the graph on the picture fits the cup (insert a point – WHICH ONE THERE WAS NONE GIVEN, demands)… I am not very interested into getting to know the result. 

I hope my explanation is not that difficult to understand, I cannot express my mathematical thoughts in German so English is even worse.

Overwhelmed 

Guys, 

Only 100 days until the football season begins!!!😍

So now to what I actually wanted to say: I just cannot do anything anymore, not physically but mentally. Tomorrow is the first of my two oral exams for my A-Levels, tomorrow’s is math. It does not feel like a part of my A-Levels. Maybe because I haven’t had school since 18 days or because there is no one I can talk about it with. I just do not take it seriously not even one day before. It might be as well because regardless of how many points I get (I only need one to pass my A-Levels) my average is shitty. So I can be very relaxed because the teachers tend to give at least one point although I am certain my math teacher hates me. He will probably take a topic for tomorrow’s exam in which I am very bad. Anyway, it’s math, I will be satisfied if I get at least five points everything above would be a dream. The problem is I just cannot remember everything of the last two years! Especially not in math! 

Furthermore, my cat is very ill. She has barely moved and eaten since Sunday and only drank a bit this morning. I was not sure but when I touched she felt like she has temperature . So I went with her to the vet – only one day before my important exam. And I was right, she has 40C temperature! So she got a vitamin cure, antibiotics and an infusion. We got protein and Vitamine food and a painkiller for at home. All in all it costed 100€. Wow, I am totally broke now, although I babysitted twice this weekend. 

In addition to that, the fact that no host family was interested in me for more than one week and that there were only 5 ones overall in more than 4 weeks burns me out. My friend who is visible for host families for two weeks now has as much family suggestions as I. That’s frustrating. I get already used to the idea to stay in Germany. Now that I am finally aware of what I want it does not work out. At least I do not have to blame myself for taking so long until I was finally activated I did everything as fast as I could, even if I had wanted it since day 1 I would not have been visible for the host families any longer. I think most host families already found an AuPair and I am too late. I am still sad about not getting chosen by the host family from Texas. Now I do not know what to do if I cannot do my year abroad! There is only one month left until my preffered departure date. Weird. 
Well, first I have to pass my A-Levels now and then I can worry about my year abroad. Maybe a new family suggestion would distract me tomorrow anyway.

Waiting

The waiting for new email kills me. I want to do this, I want to be an AuPair. My life is so boring I want to experience something, to go on an adventure! One year can be very long, my A-Levels were bad, maybe I should do the year again and I am a bit afraid to come back when my time in the US was awesome! But I have to leave, I cannot stand my family anymore. I know, at first I was afraid to get an Email and I think this ruined my possible match with the host family from Texas but I think this host family interview with the Texan family woke me up and made me realise I want this! I know, my mum is still against the idea but she asks everyday if a new family is interested. Now that I turned down the host family from California with whom I Skyped two days ago (I just did not feel comfortable but they answered that they feel similarly, dumbasses) I have no interested families again. That is very frustrating, especially if my friend who was approved to be seen by the host family three weeks later than I had already four suggestions and is in contact with a family who she really likes and who likes her back so they are probably going to match. AM I THIS BAD?! I want a family now so I can get the visa. This takes at least four weeks and I wanted to depart in July! I think now that I know what I  want the Au Pair thing is not going to happen because I won’t find a fitting host family…

P.S. Check out my new blog especially for my year abroad! 

Certain but disappointed 

Hi people, 

the Skype Interview and my situation at home let me see that I should and want to be an AuPair although I know that my mum will be sad about it. I was so hopeful aboutthefamily from Texas and I really imagined living there. I wrote their current AuPair but she didn’t answer me. I think this could be thereason they did not pick me. They might have thought that I am not interested in them because their AuPair has not got my email because it maybe got into her spam folder. I do not know. What I know was that I was very disappointed that they did not pick me as their AuPair. I really wanted it. This made me realize that I want to do a year abroad. Although I never truly believed they would pick me (I screwed up the Skype Interview, I asked not enough questions and talked too less all in all and maybe because they thought I never emailed their AuPair and I do not care enough – although I did). I haven’t heard of them for two days and when I saw that I got an email yesterday evening I knew that this would be a refusal email so I was afraid to open it. I was totally down yesterday and i maybe cried a bit. The only thing I could think about today was that they did not want me although I was the AuPair’s favorite. So I screwed it up by being me. Great. I never got am positive answer to any application I sent, regardless to whom or what. Both families who turned me down said that my application is great and I will easily find a host family. Haha, good joke. Three families wrote me in three weeks. I will never find a family until September. I know it sounds ridiculous because it seems like I want to take part in the AuPair Programme since Tuesday but you know I really wanted this a long time before and I just got uncertain because of school and my family.  

Results

I got my results from the written part of my A-Levels today. I would have been satisfied with at least 10 points in history and 7-8 points in English and German. 

I cried when I saw how many points I achieved. I managed to get 10 in history and 8 in English but 5 ! points in German. I knew that it was not perfect but I never expected it to be so bad. I couldn’t stop the tears. It was awful. Everyone told me it is not that bad and that some were altogether even worse than me but that does not cheer me up. Okay some probably did not pass and I feel bad for crying because of 3 points if they did not made it and did not cry. But it was so important to be good. I do not know if I should try to improve my points in an extra test. I doubt that I could increase my points a lot. 

I did not hurry with coming home. When.I got home my mum was very disappointed and said she always thought native German speakers without immigrant background are able to get much more points and that this looks like I am totally dump and that no one will hire me. That was really encouraging. My answer was that clever people will know that it is much more than correct German spelling and grammar and if she thinks she would have scored higher but she said that is not comparable and that I am very arrogant thinking that everybody I deal with is dumb. She cannot understand why I left to go to my room. The first thing I did there was eating chocolate. I just made first steps in getting over it and she crushed it and made everything worse. Maybe I should do a year abroad just to get away from her although she is the reason I originally did not want to go…

At the moment I am discovering my love for Metal music🤘🎧🎵

That was fast! 

Hey there,

new news from the AuPair front. I got an Email from a new Host family on Friday. I replied approximately 16 hours later. The kids are soooo cute! A girl (9) and a boy (6). The family seems very sporty and active. They picked me probably because of my very active video which does not mirror my real life, I just needed scenes with children whuchand was easiest by jumping trampoline and playing soccer and I wanted to show that I do sports sometimes with the running. It is only now that I noticed that I seen like a sports fanatic in the video. Great. I haven’t got an answer on my Email yet. That is not so bad I mean now I can enjoy my last week of school without being nervous about my interview and I AM STILL NOT SURE IF I WANT TO DO THIS. I mean it is very selfish. My mum relies on me and if I leave she is alone with my dad and my sis with whom she has a lot of fights. 

Update: The family wrote me tonight. I cannot open it. My motto: If I do not know it it isn’t there. Haha, naïve. 

No match

Hey guys! 

I turned down the offer of the host family from Atlanta. I checked out their site on the AuPair website. The e-mail sounded great but when I read the letter to the future AuPair I was not certain that this is the family I want. The kids have ADHD and have to take pills and are often naughty but “it is very funny and difficult not to laugh about it” What? Totally funny when they do what they want. Moreover, I really do not want the parents working from home. I would always feel watched. Moreover, there not only lived the parents with its two children but all grandparents too. The biggest problem was that I would have have to take my holidays when they were in summer holidays only a few weeks after I would have arrived. I do not have money then. The good things would have been that I would have to work weekdays often so I had free on weekends most of the time. Moreover, Atlanta is cool although I would prefer the West Coast. The family looks nice too and has a lot of workers so I would not have much to do. But I was wondering why they even need an AuPair with all this people living there… Maybe I am too picky or my subconscious wants to tell me that deep inside me I do not want to go to the US… 

Becca