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So Leuts,

I have less than 24 hours left with my family. I am total panicking, not because I leave ( I think that is going to happen soon) but because I am packing my suitcase since Sunday, okay I started on Sunday and continued yesterday and I have too much stuff. Originally I thought I am really good at packing, everything seemed to fit and I wasn’t even sure if I need the hand luggage but everyone made me feel like I have not enough and now I have too much (it does not fit into the suitcase I haven’t weighed it yet) and I does not know what to leave at home, everything seems important! I have not much else than clothes, is this normal? Unfortunately, the presents for the host family take one third of the space! Ups. 

My aunt made a USA – Rebecca is coming Party yesterday. There were burgers and beer (Bud light for me and German for the others, to be honest I haven’t tasted a difference) and I have baked cookie butter cupcakes. There was American music and my aunt wanted to know everything about my flight, my travel preparations, my first days in New York, my future if I want to expand. She said I should not answer the messages of my mum everyday because when I am not at home it should feel like it too. My mum could have killed her. 

I am still not nervous because I cannot realise I am leaving tomorrow. Weird. 

I crafted the whole week (instead of packing) goodbye presents for my parents and my grandma: a clock full of pictures with typical American images so they know what time it is in Boston and a calendar with pictures from us as well as from New England. Now that I am finish I think it is ridiculous and a totally self centered present but I thought I have to give them something! 

What I have to do today is obviously packing, cleaning up my room, it looks like something exploded in here because I have thrown everything I thought I wanted to take with me into the floor and now there is barely floor visible, I want to shower, eat all the stuff which only I eat (happy eating), vacuum at my grandma’s, search the suitcase scale, say goodbye to my grandma and my aunt, cook dinner (Chili con carne), maybe read, oh not to forget quit my job, sleep and I think that’s it. 

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My birthday

Hey guys,

my birthday was better than expected. A friend of mine came by surprisingly (she drove 10 km by bike just to visit me (one way)) That’s so cute! She even brought me a present: a book. It is a thriller about a family whose nanny isn’t what they expected… I’ll tell you how it is then. 

Like I planned I got up at 9am and found an envelope which my sis stuffed through under my door. It was a coupon and a handwritten letter. My mum just hugged me and wished me all the best. We had breakfast then. After it I wanted to go running but first my grandma came and have me her gift: a card with money: American money. My first US Dollars! and second my grandpa phoned congratulated me and asked if I have got his letter. In fact, it has already arrived and contained the only Euros I would get this birthday.  When she left because my mum had to drive her to the doctor I went running. In the meantime a few people wrote me birthday wishes, two acquaintances and my uncle. After my mum came back with my grandma and I had showered she gave me my birthday present: a bouquet of flowers (which she has bought when she waited for my grandma) and a card with money, again American. She said she couldn’t wait until my dad comes back. 

My mum and I cleaned up the house until my sister came back from school because my sister’s math teacher was supposed to come later to teach her some extra math lessons. My sister did not mention my birthday or acknowledged my thank-you. 

At 3pm the doorbell rang. I did not expected visitors and the math teacher would not come before 5pm so I was very surprised when my friend (I call her like that now that she came by only for me and although I did not visit her on her birthday (what makes me a guilty conscience). Fortunately I have baked a cake the day before and after I have showed her my bedroom we ate cake (she ate even 3 which made me very happy because this shows me she liked it). Bit by bit my mum and grandma joined us and we all talked. When my father came home he joined us too and was disappointed that my mum has given me their gift already. I was even able to convince my friend to drink a glass of Amarula although she doesn’t like alcohol. Later it started raining heavily and we had to go inside. Then it was time for my friend to leave to but because of the rain my father was so kind to drive her and her bike. Because of the later I wasn’t able to accompany them unfortunately. 

Dinner was one of my favorite foods: salmon and spinach. Yummy! Just minutes before it was ready my uncle, aunt and cousin came by to give me my present: US dollars! 

The test of the day I watched TV with my parents but had to go to bed early because the next day I had to get up eearly because I had to work. But that’s a different story.

XOXO Becca

Results

I got my results from the written part of my A-Levels today. I would have been satisfied with at least 10 points in history and 7-8 points in English and German. 

I cried when I saw how many points I achieved. I managed to get 10 in history and 8 in English but 5 ! points in German. I knew that it was not perfect but I never expected it to be so bad. I couldn’t stop the tears. It was awful. Everyone told me it is not that bad and that some were altogether even worse than me but that does not cheer me up. Okay some probably did not pass and I feel bad for crying because of 3 points if they did not made it and did not cry. But it was so important to be good. I do not know if I should try to improve my points in an extra test. I doubt that I could increase my points a lot. 

I did not hurry with coming home. When.I got home my mum was very disappointed and said she always thought native German speakers without immigrant background are able to get much more points and that this looks like I am totally dump and that no one will hire me. That was really encouraging. My answer was that clever people will know that it is much more than correct German spelling and grammar and if she thinks she would have scored higher but she said that is not comparable and that I am very arrogant thinking that everybody I deal with is dumb. She cannot understand why I left to go to my room. The first thing I did there was eating chocolate. I just made first steps in getting over it and she crushed it and made everything worse. Maybe I should do a year abroad just to get away from her although she is the reason I originally did not want to go…

At the moment I am discovering my love for Metal music🤘🎧🎵

What next?

Hi there,
I am still here, do not worry!

I do not know if I told you about my plan spending a year abroad as an Au Pair in the US this year after my A-Levels because you know that I always want to go to the US and that living in the US is a dream of me. My blog post about how badly I want to visit the US sometimes. I was so confident about the idea that I never thought it would fail. To be an Au Pair you need at least 200 hours of childcare experience which I have with my two internships in kindergarten. The problem is that it must not be older than 3 years and one of it was in January 2014 and with that 3 years ago. I hoped it would still count but my interviewer told me yesterday after I did all the things which were needed ( a medical form completed by a doctor – I even had to be x-rayed -, a character reference, two childcare references – I crazed the kindergarten because I wanted them to hurry because I knew it would become tight, so I even sent my aunt there because she said they should not be the reason why I am not able to do it. But they were not fast enough. -, a lot of copies of official documents like my passport, a criminal record and the thing which was extremly time-consuming and which made a great effort was the application video which was very hard to film and cut and edit. I am very disappointed and there is no chance how I can get to missing hours especially not a few weeks before my A-Levels! I want to concentrate on good A-Level results rather than on desperatly trying to make my year abroad become reality. I mean I was never so sure about it because it would be a long time I would not be at home. Although I think it would have been a great distraction from home.
Okay, I have cried for a short time when I read the message but now everything is fine. I still have not told it anybody.
The good thing is there is still something I can work for: a journey to the US although I am not sure I want to be there when Trump is president. Well, then I have to wait four more years but that is not much regarding the time I have dreamed about it already!
In the meantime I am going to be a student, the only problem is I have no clue what I want to do later and with that I do not know what to study! Because of this the year abroad would have been a great chance to think about it.

Have a nice weekend.
Becca ♥

New Year

Hey,

I hope you all came good into the new year and I really thank you for giving me your attention in the new year!♥
Maybe you remember that I told you that I want to see the ball drop in New York City but I did not wake up. This year I made it! Perhaps because I went to bed at 2:30am and not at 4am like last year. 

I went to my parents but I just sat there and read. My grandmother came over 15 minutes before midnight. This New Year’s Eve was weird. We just talked and almost missed midnight. We drank champagne and my dad said it. He really did but I told him he can save that and guess what, he was offended. He has not talked to me anymore. That was okay. My grandmother left almost immediatly after midnight and my mum went to bed as fast as she could (it was 1:15am). My cat went crazy. She was really scared. Originally she went upstairs into her bed but she came down when the fireworks started and hid under the christmas tree. I think she was glad that I came to calm her down because she emerged from the tree straight away and I gave her a cuddle until the fireworks ended which was approx. a quarter to 1. She shivered with fear and had really big eyes. If it had not been so scary for her it would have been really cute.
My grandfather phoned and wished us a good new year. We talked a bit and he said he wants me to come this year. I do not see him often, once in a few years but I do not know what to do or talk about with him. So I do not think I am going to visit him this year. Moreover, he is living at the other side of Germany. Well, after my mum went to bed I went upstairs too because my dad ignored me and I watched TV a bit. You probably still know that I like to watch other countries celebrate new year what I did this time as well. I have a few photos for you! 😉

Today was not very special. I learned for my A-Levels when I remembered that I have to do a presentation in computer science after winter break what I have to do, too. Great! I do not even get the topic! Whatever! I will drop it anyway.

At the moment I am watching New York Giants against Washington Redskins. Have you seen that the Vikings won? I know they did not make it into the playoffs but I was happy after all.

When I sat on the couch cuddling my cat I convinced myself that 2017 is going to be MY year. I do not why I am persuaded about it but I suddenly had the feeling yesterday. I hope that it will come true…

Hope you have a nice sunday.
Becca♥

P.S. Jaqueline did not come over, she wrote me already an hour before that she is really tired and almost falls asleep. I was tired as well so i could bear it.

Me, again

And hi there, a third time.
I just wanted to inform you my cat is back.
I am still bored although I just found out that the song “Nehmt Abschied Brüder”, which I learned at school, is the English song “Old lang syne”, which is a New Year’s Eve song. Why I write about it? Lea Michele sang the song at the end of New Year’s Eve and I was sure that I know the melody and even remembered the lines: “Die Zukunft liegt in Finsternis und macht das Herz uns schwer” and I googled it and bam there it was. Bam. Okay, I do not know what else I can write. By the way, we do not have firework this year. I hate New Year’s Eve, my sis is not there, my mum wants to go to bed after midnight asap and my dad says he only does it for us but I think he just do not want to be the only one who watches it… Yup. So again, Happy New Year, especially for Greece, Egypt and all other countries in this time zone.
We are next guys. I think I am going to my parents now and I am hungry, who wants to start in a new year hungry? Oh I hear now Hong Kong sang Old lang syne when they welcomed 2017.
CU next year!

Becca♥

Hello, it’s me…

Hi, it’s me, again. I know you are probably thinking: What does she want, she wasn’t able to write for a year and now twice a day?
Yeah, you are right. It is just very, very boring and I feel very lonely so I thought why not write again?
Currently I watch New Year’s Eve and I feel (like every year) lonely. My sister left for the party, my dad and I had a fight at dinner, like every year. We always fight on New Year’s Eve and then on midnight everyone pretends that everything is alright and how much one loves each other and especially my dad tells us every year we should stay how we are. That is so insincere. I hate it.
Moreover I am worried that my cat does not come back before midnight, she has done it before on her first New Year’s Eve because she was so scared. Usually we do not let her go outside but she does not want to use the cat toilet, she only does her business outside and we can’t stand her wandering around and crying terribly. I thought she has almost 3 hours left to come back and it is very cold so she comes back after an hour but she is still not here. I hope she comes back in time.
The movie is almost over and I do not have the slightest idea what to do afterwards. It is going to be very boring. I do not want to celebrate with my parents especially not with my dad. I know, I know that’s wrong but it is like this every year and he is never NEVER able to apologize. You are probably saying: Becca, the wiser head gives in. I know that you are right but it is always the same and I have had enough. Well, it is likely that I will give in a few minutes before midnight so I am just now very furious.
I AM SO BORED. Even if my dad and I would not have had that fight I would not like be with him right now because he and my mum are watching an odd music show about old songs (and with old I mean they are so old even my mum does not know a lot of them!)

I hope you have a nice day/night/evening and please ignore me I am just furious and very bored.
Guten Rutsch and happy new year!

Becca♥