It’s too coooooooold outsiiiideee for angels to fly

I am so silly! Instead of going home and being in a  warm house I spent my time going to the supermarket to buy potato bread (I am addicted to it!) & strawberries. Buying it tomorrow would not have meant coming home later because I have a lot of time between school and tutoring where I can’t go home. But stupid Rebecca couldn’t wait and had to get it today, so she sits at the train station now and freezes her ass off. To top that she just sits there because she missed the earlier train by approximately one minute! One f***cking minute! If the women on the checkstand had hurried up a bit or if she had decided faster if she should take the Chinese vegetables as well or if she had run to the train station instead of walking fast she would have catches the train. Shoulda, coulda, woulda…



I am puzzled what to do. I have no idea what to do after school. Well, I am still thinking about becoming an Au Pair but because of the rejection of my internship I do not know if I want to go with this agency or if I should switch. If I do so I have to get the forms filled out again because I can’t use the ones I have now. First I have no time to drive to all my references to let them fill out my references again and the doctor visit for the medical form costs 20€. But I am so mad at my advisor. She said I can use the internship as a reference in Jauary but now she said it is too old. That is reason I would like to switch agencies. I do not feel cared for well. My advisor is very curious in general. For example, she forgot to phone me back to help me with my references but phoned me twice to introduce herself and explain me how the application process works. 

The election of Trump makes me insecure and I am afraid that I have to decide fast because he has said he want to abolish the J1 Visa which I need if I want to be an An Pair. My mom is not a big help,she always asks if I still really want to go there.The problem is that I do not know what to do instead. Studying? Volunteering at a project in Africa? Work and Travel? FSJ? BFD? Amy suggestions? I. DON’T. KNOW. 

What next?

Hi there,
I am still here, do not worry!

I do not know if I told you about my plan spending a year abroad as an Au Pair in the US this year after my A-Levels because you know that I always want to go to the US and that living in the US is a dream of me. My blog post about how badly I want to visit the US sometimes. I was so confident about the idea that I never thought it would fail. To be an Au Pair you need at least 200 hours of childcare experience which I have with my two internships in kindergarten. The problem is that it must not be older than 3 years and one of it was in January 2014 and with that 3 years ago. I hoped it would still count but my interviewer told me yesterday after I did all the things which were needed ( a medical form completed by a doctor – I even had to be x-rayed -, a character reference, two childcare references – I crazed the kindergarten because I wanted them to hurry because I knew it would become tight, so I even sent my aunt there because she said they should not be the reason why I am not able to do it. But they were not fast enough. -, a lot of copies of official documents like my passport, a criminal record and the thing which was extremly time-consuming and which made a great effort was the application video which was very hard to film and cut and edit. I am very disappointed and there is no chance how I can get to missing hours especially not a few weeks before my A-Levels! I want to concentrate on good A-Level results rather than on desperatly trying to make my year abroad become reality. I mean I was never so sure about it because it would be a long time I would not be at home. Although I think it would have been a great distraction from home.
Okay, I have cried for a short time when I read the message but now everything is fine. I still have not told it anybody.
The good thing is there is still something I can work for: a journey to the US although I am not sure I want to be there when Trump is president. Well, then I have to wait four more years but that is not much regarding the time I have dreamed about it already!
In the meantime I am going to be a student, the only problem is I have no clue what I want to do later and with that I do not know what to study! Because of this the year abroad would have been a great chance to think about it.

Have a nice weekend.
Becca ♥

New Year


I hope you all came good into the new year and I really thank you for giving me your attention in the new year!♥
Maybe you remember that I told you that I want to see the ball drop in New York City but I did not wake up. This year I made it! Perhaps because I went to bed at 2:30am and not at 4am like last year. 

I went to my parents but I just sat there and read. My grandmother came over 15 minutes before midnight. This New Year’s Eve was weird. We just talked and almost missed midnight. We drank champagne and my dad said it. He really did but I told him he can save that and guess what, he was offended. He has not talked to me anymore. That was okay. My grandmother left almost immediatly after midnight and my mum went to bed as fast as she could (it was 1:15am). My cat went crazy. She was really scared. Originally she went upstairs into her bed but she came down when the fireworks started and hid under the christmas tree. I think she was glad that I came to calm her down because she emerged from the tree straight away and I gave her a cuddle until the fireworks ended which was approx. a quarter to 1. She shivered with fear and had really big eyes. If it had not been so scary for her it would have been really cute.
My grandfather phoned and wished us a good new year. We talked a bit and he said he wants me to come this year. I do not see him often, once in a few years but I do not know what to do or talk about with him. So I do not think I am going to visit him this year. Moreover, he is living at the other side of Germany. Well, after my mum went to bed I went upstairs too because my dad ignored me and I watched TV a bit. You probably still know that I like to watch other countries celebrate new year what I did this time as well. I have a few photos for you! 😉

Today was not very special. I learned for my A-Levels when I remembered that I have to do a presentation in computer science after winter break what I have to do, too. Great! I do not even get the topic! Whatever! I will drop it anyway.

At the moment I am watching New York Giants against Washington Redskins. Have you seen that the Vikings won? I know they did not make it into the playoffs but I was happy after all.

When I sat on the couch cuddling my cat I convinced myself that 2017 is going to be MY year. I do not why I am persuaded about it but I suddenly had the feeling yesterday. I hope that it will come true…

Hope you have a nice sunday.

P.S. Jaqueline did not come over, she wrote me already an hour before that she is really tired and almost falls asleep. I was tired as well so i could bear it.